I don't know. Or maybe I do. You see, I have these 7 embryos. To me they are a human at that point. So for the last 2 1/2 years I have thought about these babies. Are they boys or girls? Are they fun loving or serious little beings? Will they all make it into the world? I know this is not reality. I know they will not all make it. So that is hard. I can't wish that all of these babies do not take this time. But do I want 3-4 children this go around? Well no, not really. But what do you do? How do you hope for some to take and for some not to? So I think. And wonder. And then I try not to think. So...I am all serious. All business. And tired and stressed.
I had my last doctor appt this morning before we do the transfer. I will stop my stomach shots tomorrow and really start aggresively doing the hip shots. We have to mix the medicine in one syringe so I don't have to do 2 shots per night. It will be a much bigger dose so she said to get ready for my hips to get worse. After the medicine is given I have to lay on my side for 5-10 minutes and massage the oil (the injection is progesteron in oil mixed with delestrogen) into my muscle. I also get to start.......get ready readers........vaginal suppositories. Three times a day I will be the lucky home of these little beauties. I cannot wait......... I also begin a new antibiotic that I will take four times a day and two at each time (8 a day!!). I have been on antibiotics for over a month. My poor tummy. I also start taking a anti-rejection drug. So anything foreign in my body it will keep......this makes me want to try all kind of things. Which is probably really dangerous. I will be good, I promise.
Ok, so we have to be at the doctor on Monday morning at 10:45. The process should take 2 1/2 hours. They start thawing our embryos very early that morning. They will thaw 4 since they are stored 2, 2, 2 and 1. If at least 3 does not make it they will continue to thaw until they get 3. I do not want any less that three. If all 4 make it they will put them all in. I will not pick one to trash.
I have been asked if I am excited. I have too many emotions to pick just one. I am nervous because the time is almost here. I have wondered since Kiyah if I would have more children. I do not want her to be an only child. So it is almost sad because this could be it. If this ends up being our only chance and it does not take. We have decided we don't want to do another fresh cycle. We could always change our minds but I have put my body through a lot. Our pockets through a lot. Our emotions through a lot. I don't think we are up for another one. But maybe it will not come to that. Guess we will just all have to wait and see.
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