We graduated!

We officially had our last appointment with our IVF doctor. The baby looked good. It had grown quite a bit and I am measuring bigger than how far along I really am. I am hoping my OB-GYN will give us more detailed information on how the baby looks. My IVF doctor just kind of measures its size, measures the heartbeat and checks my blood work. Maybe my OB-GYN will take a closer look at the baby and tell us how everything is developing. I have no reason to think everything is not fine but it would be nice to hear that for some reassurance.
I came off all my hormones which was scary but my lab work looked good so it looks like my body finally realizes it is pregnant and will take over from here. The hormone withdrawal gave me a fierce headache that lasted for 3-4 days. I tried to stop my nausea medications as well. That didn’t go as well. My body still wants to reject any and all things put in my stomach. So I am back on them for now. Only problem with them is the one I take at night takes a while to wear off so getting up very early is impossible. It’s good to get the sleep but makes my day start later than I am used too.
Karlis and I have been convinced we were having a girl and the heartbeat has always been well above 150. Plus there was the whole Latvian wizard prediction. When we went to the doctor and I sat down to give blood the phlebotomist looked at my stomach and said “boy”. I told her we really thought it was a girl and she kept calling it a “he”. So imagine our surprise when the doctor got a heartbeat read of 139. So now I am confused but Karlis still says girl. We go to my OB-GYN on January 7 so we are hoping to find out the sex then.
So things are going well. The bleeding has finally stopped, the nausea is being taken care of and we are getting closer everyday to having our little one!

I know, I know

Yeah, yeah, I know, it has been awhile. So I will start off with a question for you. When you feel like you might throw up at any moment do you want to sit down with your computer and write? I didn’t think so. I keep thinking I will update more often but nights are when I am the sickest and that is when I write so it just doesn’t happen. I swear I have good intentions.
Our ultrasound last week went well. She thought I had finally graduated to the top of the stomach ultrasound instead of the vaginal since I was at 12 and ½ weeks. So she tried. First thing she said was “ok, this is your baby, its heartbeat and here it is standing on its head”. So there went the non-invasive outside of the body ultrasound since it makes getting the measurements they need a little harder when it is standing on its head. So she went back to the good ole trusty vaginal way. Hooray! (just kidding). I am wondering now though if that might be the best way since when she was doing the belly one she was pushing so dang hard on my stomach that it was giving me cramps. Oh well, who knows. The baby was measuring 13 weeks and its heart was beating at 163. So everything looked good. She did tell me that I have a “tricky uterus” whatever that means. Maybe I have a secret talent that I did not know about. Exciting! We go back on December 29th which will be our last appointment with our fertility doctor. I will be taken off all hormones because at that point my body should be completely ready to handle things on its own. Little scary if you ask me but we trust our doctor so we are sure things will be ok. He still wanted me to take things easy, which means a maximum of 4 hours a day being active or on my feet. I am still spotting/bleeding on a daily basis but I have learned to not panic at the sight of it. But oh how I wish it would stop soon.
What I am about to say might be a little intimate for some and any guy readers might want to skip it all together. I questioned writing about it but figured this is my thoughts. It is another change pregnancy has brought about and many women have probably faced the same problem. So here it is: Onto another pregnancy first….I visited a place I have never been before. It was also somewhere that I didn’t want to be and embarrassed to of had to go. Here it is, ta da da dum….. the underwear section at Wal-Mart. (little FYI, I am not dissing Wal-Mart in any way, I buy clothes there just never any of my usually cute little undergarments). I was beyond desperate for some undies comfort. I have always been a faithful Victoria’s Secret shopper but my new needs are farthest from their concerns. I needed something soft that covered more area than I am used to and didn’t cut off any blood flow. Did I ever find it. I had no idea that some panties had so much material they could clothe the entire population of Rhode Island. Yes, I cringe when I walk by a mirror and wonder who that is supporting the granny panties but I have reached the point where I just don’t care. Yes, if someone saw me I would die including my poor husband. He has been nothing but kind and says he doesn’t care as long as I am comfortable. What a good man he is (or maybe he is just a tiny bit scared of my hormone induced craziness). Oh, I guess I should mention he has never seen me fully in my new drawers because I am too mortified to show him. I only showed him the top and how high up they seem to go. We are talking only a few inches from my armpits. Now that I think about it I kind of look like a rodeo clown. Maybe I should attach some suspenders to them. Now I understand why so many women over the years during numerous conversations have looked at me and said “just wait until you are pregnant and/or have children.” I am there, proudly though, I wouldn’t trade my pregnant body fashion disaster panties for anything.


Random things:
I still have the hiccups every day.
I crave toast with spray butter on a daily basis (we are talking 4-10 pieces a day).
Indigestion has kicked in BIG TIME.
I am starting to really look pregnant. My belly feels like it grows a little every day.
I bend over differently to pick up things. I sometimes want to waddle when I walk. How quickly things change.

Baby is A-Ok and the sickness continues….

*I have been a bad blogger because I have felt so bad. I have updated with 5 new short posts to get updated again. So scroll down and start with the November 24 post to get caught up from the beginning.*

The baby looked great which is the important thing. Heartbeat was 159 and it was standing on its head. We got a cute picture of it.
I woke up to such extreme dizziness that I had to grab onto the wall to even walk plus I am still throwing up the little amounts of crackers and Gatorade that I had managed to sneak down in my stomach. Guess I wasn’t so sneaky after all. It appears the dehydration has already set in. My doctor prescribed me a pill to take 3 times a day and anal (yay! just what I wanted! sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm) suppositories to help with the vomiting. I start with the suppositories since I can’t keep down any pills right now, which is scary because my body still depends on them to support the baby. He said we would start with this and hopefully I could stay out of the hospital for dehydration. Really comforting thought. His thoughts were that now that the baby has gotten bigger and my natural hormones are finally kicking in (this happens later with IVF patients) the sickness began. He said the bleeding could continue for months but to let him know when it happens so they can check me just in case it is something serious. We go back on Monday for our regularly scheduled ultrasound.

second post, same day, I want to die

I started throwing up this afternoon and I mean like everything I have eaten in my last 30 years of existence. I can’t seem to stop even if it’s just my lovely stomach acid. It’s the feeling where you are having a cold sweat and shaking and heaving your guts out. Thank goodness I am going to the doctor’s office tomorrow morning because I can’t get any of my pills to stay down.

another ultrasound tomorrow

I will go in for another ultra sound tomorrow to make sure the baby is still ok. The bleeding has continued but at a much lower rate. I will post when we are done.

Will this ever end?

I was sitting there minding my own business when I felt it. The bleeding was back. It was just as much as last time if not a little more, which was shocking because I really thought it couldn’t get worse. I sat in horror thinking that I couldn’t keep doing this. It is mentally exhausting worrying about a healthy pregnancy but when you throw in bleeding every week or two it is almost more than you can handle. I will call the doctor on Monday morning and see what I need to do now. I am sure it involves coming in for another ultrasound. One thing is for sure, I will have the biggest baby book ever since I am getting pictures of this little one on a weekly basis.

Ultrasound Update and Bed Rest continues……

Little one looked good. We got some pictures of its arms, legs and face. It looks a little like an alien (must come from the Latvian side of the family). I am measuring ahead of what I should be which is good in my way of thinking, a big healthy baby! It was dancing around and showing off and it’s little body got to moving so fast it’s head starting wobbling back and forth. It was funny, our little monkey.
The doctor still saw areas of blood so I doubt that lovely thing to deal with is going to be over soon. He also said I had a good size bruise under the placenta. I know you are wondering how you get a bruise behind the placenta. Don’t worry; I am thinking the same thing. I have no idea. In saying all this, I have to continue bed rest until the bruise is healed and the bleeding slows down. Will my pregnancy ever be normal?

another week gone by

We have another ultrasound tomorrow, one of the few perks of IVF. Even though we had one last week it was not our normally scheduled one due to the bleeding so tomorrow we get back to our normal routine. I am not as anxious as usual about going since we saw the baby a week ago. It makes it a lot easier mentally going every week than every two weeks. But…don’t get me wrong we are still anxious to see that everything is ok. The bleeding is nothing like it was but I still have a few episodes throughout the day. I hope they can see on the ultrasound that the area where the blood was is almost gone.
Karlis has been with me this entire week and I would have gone insane without him. Even though I am on bed rest and can’t get out of the house we have enjoyed being with each other. I don’t remember the last time we spent this much time together, just the two of us. He said he has enjoyed the time as well except from 7:30-8:30 every morning. This is when I wake up usually and I am beyond sick from being hungry. I roll over and plead with him to get up and get the only thing in the world I will eat for breakfast (this week anyway) a sausage biscuit and orange juice from McDonalds. He hates this for two reasons. One being he is not a morning person, he would rather the biscuit run be at midnight. Two being he hates the cold weather and lately at that time of day it has been in the 20’s. What a good husband he is. Only complaint I have is he is STILL trying to get me to eat those d@#n chicken egg rolls. Just typing that makes me sick.
So I will update tomorrow with how the ultrasound goes. Looking forward to seeing our little one again!

the thoughts of loss and the past, present and future

When I thought we had lost our baby it was one of the deepest saddest feelings I had ever had. No woman should ever have to endure such pain. I am sure a spouse will hurt just as deeply but they don’t have to feel their body rejecting their child. I started thinking about how I would write what I was feeling if that had happened. I kept thinking that I never knew it was possible to love something so deeply that I had never even seen or met. From my perspective when we found out we were pregnant with our future child we fell in love with every aspect of them. You begin to dream of many happy moments and memories to come. Sports, sleepovers, band aids for skinned knees (my Alabama self so badly wanted to write skint knees), bath time, Christmas time, etc. Things look brighter outside, the air feels clearer, and moments begin to feel richer because you are constantly on a cloud of happiness that you never had before. We have always been happy and knew we could live a great life without a child but it wouldn’t be the complete happiness we had longed for. There is nothing like knowing a piece of you and the one you love has been created to carry on happiness and love for generations to come.
Since we had been trying for a little over 2 years I have known many people who have easily gotten pregnant or gotten pregnant by accident and had their children while my husband and I struggled. It is not an easy ride. I was always happy for the other couples but wondered if it would ever be our turn. I would dream about how we would tell our parents or how I could maybe surprise Karlis with the news. Since that moment never seemed to come for us there were some really disappointing times.
If we had lost this child we would have tried like any other couple would to get pregnant again but our journey to get pregnant is such a more stressful one than the perfectly fertile couple. It is amazing to me that people get pregnant by simply having (WARNING about to say the “s” word) sex. Imagine! That concept is so foreign to my husband and me. My mind cannot even wrap itself around that thought. How easy, how convenient, how painless, how completely FREE (hmm, guess that one can be debatable). No doctors in the room (well I don’t guess unless you are married to one or are really into some kinky stuff), no shots that inflate you like a Thanksgiving turkey, no popping up to 15 pills a day, no vaginal suppositories, no 3 times a week blood draws, no bed rest, you get to skip 2 different minor surgeries, the list goes on and on. Last but not least is you save thousands and thousands of dollars and I mean some serious money.
I am one of the few women that can say my doctor got me pregnant and my husband completely understands. Heck I even had Karlis’s consent and hopes and prayers my doctor would get me pregnant the first time. Plus the actual creation of our baby happened not by a special moment between my husband and me but it was me laying on a sterile operating room table and my husband probably looking at some girl named Bambi who loves skydiving, horseback riding and ice cream cones. I have never asked my husband the specifics of that experience and I never will. I guess whatever works to get the job done in a stressful situation is ok but it is definitely not a fairytale story of how you conceived your child. IVF is not normal stuff.
IVF is truly an emotional, financially, physically draining roller coaster. BUT we were truly blessed to get pregnant our first time. I keep up with some other women’s blogs and they are on their 4th or 5th time, my heart truly goes out to them. I cannot imagine the frustration and the thoughts of failure that must creep into their minds. It is the last thing from failure but I must admit I have thought it many times before. It is something about your body abandoning your ability to reproduce naturally that messes with your head. Not sure why, it just happens.
Today we are happy, we are blessed and we are sincerely content to be pregnant another day, another minute, another second.

scariest few days to sweet relief

So we thought we had lost our baby. I started bleeding on Saturday night around 5:00. When I say bleeding I don’t mean spotting or a drop here or there, it was A LOT. Karlis had just left for his hockey game and I couldn’t get in touch with him. I called his coach (who was awesome) and he immediately had Karlis call when he got to the rink. Karlis instantly came back to the apartment to be with me. We called our doctor and he increased my dose of progesterone, told me to start bed rest again and be at his office at 8:00 on Monday morning. The bleeding only got worse throughout the night. I had to sleep on towels and get up every hour to go to the bathroom and re-group; it was miserable. Not only because it was impossible to sleep or get comfortable but because I thought I was just cleaning up what was left of our child; it was horrible. Sunday was even worse. Karlis and I had completely decided it was over because of the amount of blood. I cried and he did his best to comfort me while I am sure he was hurting just as much. We came back to Nashville and just waited for our appointment. By Monday morning the bleeding had slowed but not completely stopped. The ultrasound tech was great and immediately showed us what she saw. Our little baby was laying there with his/her heart beating at 172 beats per minute and was dancing all around. It looked like it was throwing some punches….hockey punches maybe? It had grown so much since last week. I was even measuring 4 days ahead of what I should have been. We have never been so relieved. We spoke to the doctor when the ultrasound was done and they could tell the bleeding was coming from outside the placenta and off to the side. My doctor said he felt it was this one’s twin that never really formed from the very beginning. He said that IVF patients bleed 60-70% of the time (now you tell us) and he thought at this point we had a 1% chance of losing it. Great news!
Karlis made a good point to our doctor. The doctor was kind of acting like this was normal and something he saw all the time. Karlis said “well a hockey fight is not scary to me but to you that might be a different story”. The doctor laughed and agreed that yes it would be scary to him and he understood why it scared us so much and went on to say that as parents you are always scared of something. Point taken.
One funny moment of the day was we stopped for Karlis to get coffee on the way in to our appointment. He got it all ready and then spilled the entire thing all over the place. It even went on the lady beside him. He told her sorry and she said it was ok that stuff like that happens. Then this is when the conversation should have ended before opening his mouth again (happens a lot with men, don’t you think?). He said in all seriousness “Could have been worse, I could have spilled it on me”. She then gave him “the look”. Who is this man? That’s not my sweet husband. I think the stress had gotten the best of him. Understandable.
So I am back on bed rest for the remainder of this week and then I am to take things very easy for the next few weeks. Karlis is missing a few games to stay with me and help me maneuver around the house. Good thing Thanksgiving and Christmas will be here soon. That will be lots of time for me to rest. I am also hoping I will enjoy food by then. Currently I am living off of Cheerios, Sonic slushes and Super Bubble bubble gum. Yum!

Good news, lots of upcoming dates and I am exhausted

The appointment this morning went great. My RE doctor did my ultrasound and he said everything looked “perfect”….yay! Perfect is a great thing to hear when it comes to your little tiny baby. Its heart was beating 179 beats per minute, looks like we are back to a little girl! When the doctor was trying to measure this everyone (me and him) have to be really still. I have never heard of this before and I guess he was just trying to be really accurate so he told me to stop breathing. Yes, stop breathing. I thought maybe this was some kind of joke but he asked twice. The first time he said stop breathing for just a second. He must not have a good sense of time because it was more like 10 seconds. Then he asked again. It was strange but you do whatever you have to I guess. If he had told me to stand on my head I would have done it. You start to trust these people with your life, maybe because they gave us life.
I get to stop all my medication on December 19th and will have my last appointment with my RE doctor on December 22nd. We finally have a due date, it is June 17th. I am measuring right at 8 weeks. Based on things I have read the baby is now the size of a raspberry. Wow, how can something as small as a raspberry make you feel so tired and sick. It is truly amazing.
Since Karlis has been home today we have been running around 100 mph. Since he is home once every week or two we have to fit tons of things in when he is here. We have done more cleaning, grocery shopping, yard work, laundry, etc. than I thought imaginable in one day. As I lay here writing this, he is still going strong sweeping all the floors, washing clothes and making me this awesome Latvian dessert with boiled strawberries, cool whip and almond slivers. What a good husband. I on the other hand am done for the night. The bed is calling my name. I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I finally fell asleep around 11:00 and then woke up after being asleep for about thirty minutes. I was anxious for Karlis to be home. It always makes me nervous when he travels that late at night. When I woke up last night I HAD to have blueberry muffins. So that’s what I did, I started cooking muffins at midnight. Well that was a first. The bad thing was I had been addicted to the cheap 99 cent frozen pizza the week before, the same pizza I can no longer stand. Some of the cheese had fallen to the bottom of the oven so my muffins smelt like pizza burning. It totally ruined my appetite. So Karlis had a good surprise when he finally got home at 1:00, hot freshly baked muffins. He thought I had lost it. Oh yeah, that is another thing we did today, clean the oven.
So things are well. We can rest easy and enjoy being pregnant for another couple of weeks. I will still see my doctor for blood work and ultrasounds every other week until he releases me on December 22nd. That will be a day of excitement because we made it but I will hate to leave all the staff we have come to know there. The one-on-one care is awesome.
Thank you all for your kinds words, thought and prayers. We could not have done this without you!

Let the worrying begin

For some reason the day before an ultrasound is my most nerve-racking. I can do ok from day to day and then when it is time to check on everything I get nervous all over again. I most hate worrying because what is going to happen is going to happen. It is out of anyone’s control. I have to remind myself of that daily. But anyway I almost feel like we did before we took the pregnancy test a couple of months ago. I would rather just not know and assume everything is moving along nicely. I guess it is all normal.

I still don’t feel great and even though it can be somewhat miserable I am thankful that at least I feel something. It gives me hope that things are still ok. I still am struggling with food. I have more food aversions than I knew possible. That has been really hard for me because I generally love food and can always find something to enjoy. I can’t even stand to see food commercials. I have to hide under the covers like it is some scary movie when one comes on TV; I look like a nut! I understand this should get better and I look forward to the day. I still enjoy sleeping as often as I can. Indigestion is something that has been occurring more often but has not been too bad. I am still hiccupping on a daily basis. I am beginning to wonder if that is something I will do daily for the next 7 months! Wow I can’t believe we might only have 7 months left.

So the ultrasound tomorrow should show the baby measuring around 8 weeks. I don’t think we will hear the heartbeat yet but that’s ok as long as we can see it on the ultrasound monitor. Karlis has a hockey game tonight but will come here afterward so he will be here to go with me in the morning. I don’t think he would miss an ultrasound for anything; he will be a great dad. We still don’t talk about the baby much because we are still nervous something could go wrong. Karlis has suggested we don’t get too carried away with baby things until after the first “trisemester” is over. I don’t know if he has school work on his brain or he is just confused with the pronunciation of trimester. Either way I have started saying this too and our doctor will probably think we are two hillbillies when we let this slip when talking to them. Oh well, I am sure they have heard worse.

Guess that is it for now. I will update tomorrow with the results of our appointment.

Breaking the news to our Fur Babies, among other things

So we love our fur babies and treat them better than probably some children are treated in the world. Sad but true. We have been a little concerned with telling them that there will be a new addition to our family. In their presence we have sort of spoken around the issue and haven’t really let them in on the secret yet. Imagine my surprise when I realized that Zamboni did know. I know this because whenever the dogs and I travel to see Karlis, Zamboni ALWAYS rides on my lap. I drive this massive diesel Ford Excursion when I travel so actually it is more on the arm rest and not on me. Well Karlis warned me that that must stop since my stomach is now carrying not only our future child but something that caused us much sweat, tears and money to produce. So when we went down on our trip to see Karlis for the weekend I was shocked when Zamboni didn’t even make a move for my stomach. He has to know, there is no other explanation. What a good little dog! I think we will still wait to break the news to the other two. There might be a problem with each of them. Biscuit is a t-tiny bit possessive of her mom. OK, I have family that reads this and they are gasping at this statement. I must fess up she is really really possessive of her mom. I don’t know how well she is going to take to sharing HER lap with someone else. She usually loves children but they kind of make her nervous so we will probably have to do a little extra work with her. Lastly, on to Slim. He has a completely different issue. He likes to, well um, I am stalling here. Ok I will just say it…he likes to hump small children. We have no idea where he got this undesirable act. I swear we don’t. He just gets so excited that he starts shaking and then he makes a move. We will really have to do some extra work with him.

So a week has gone by since our last ultrasound. I feel like every normal sick as you know what pregnant women. I feel like pooh 87.6% of the time (and yes that is exact, I did a study on it). If my stomach is not COMPLETELY full I don’t feel good, almost flu-like. I can sleep for about 12 hours with no problem. Then I can lie in the bed the entire day and not think a thing about it. On an interesting side note I have had the hiccups at least once every day since the day I found out I was pregnant; very strange. I still don’t like anything to touch my stomach and that really makes wearing a seat belt hard. I am one of those people that have to pull it out and hold it a little loosely at my shoulder to keep the pressure off my stomach. I know not the safest of things but I am hoping that will get better as soon as my belly is so ginormous that it goes over the belt; which shouldn’t be too long from now. I have many friends that still think I have more than one in there. Guess we will see at the next ultrasound on Tuesday of next week. We are still cautiously excited but I look forward to seeing the heartbeat again. It was amazing.

Lastly the sex of the baby has been a really hot topic. There is a little story behind this that comes all the way from Latvia. When people get sick there they have so many rituals, superstitions, etc. that we don’t have here. My mother-in-law, Gaida got sick a few years ago and visited a wizard (I assume this is what we call a psychic but Karlis insists it is a wizard). Anyway after she got the answers she wanted regarding her sickness she asked about us and if we would have children. The lady said yes and was about to say 2 but then changed it to 1 and said it would be a girl with curly hair. Ok I generally don’t believe in that stuff but the curly hair statement was a little ironic. Now I wonder if her first instinct of 2 was possibly the twin we maybe lost with this pregnancy. If we go by the heartbeat rate we heard the other day it is definitely a boy. Karlis and I have felt strongly from the beginning that it would be a girl. We have some family and friends that feel strongly that it is a boy and others that are convinced it is a girl. A little IVF fact is that more girls are overall produced from IVF but more boys are produced from a 5 day transfer, which we did. Either way it will be exciting to see.

The Lone Ranger

Looks like we got ONE!! We are excited and feel blessed to have any at all so we are thrilled with any number. We could see its tiny heart beating at 129 beats per minute, it was amazing. I am measuring at 5 weeks 6 days but for some reason I thought I was at 6 weeks 5 days. So who the heck knows when I am due. We talked to our doctor after the ultrasound and he said everything looked good and I have a 95% of carrying it to term at this point. Yay! Maybe I will stop worrying daily about losing it (I hate calling it an it, oh well).
Another great thing….my estrogen and progesterone numbers looked so good I get to stop shots!!!! I will now be taking estrogen 2 times a day and progesterone 3 times a day by tablets. I also get to stop my progesterone suppositories! Hooray!
We go back for our second ultrasound on Tuesday, November 11th at 10:15. A whole 2 weeks away! My Dr does not release me to my regular OB until my second trimester. That is exciting news. I am glad I will be watched so closely and get to have more ultrasounds. It will probably be strange to be released back into the fish pond of normal pregnant women. I have had such individualized care up to this point it will be hard to go to my OB Dr who is in a practice of 7 other women doctors and 8 billion patients. Maybe IVF does have a few perks.
When my doctor was flipping through my chart he came across our embryo pictures and he said “wow those are beautiful embryos” to no one in particular. It was awesome to hear that we can make beautiful embryos since so many couples have quality issues. We both hate that we lost the other two. We know things happen for a reason so it is for the best. It still stings a little though. Since my beta number did that strange non-doubling right at the beginning it looks like we probably lost this one’s twin. It’s ok though, we still have our one, our little fighter.

Oh one last thing. I have been too scared to show Karlis our little frightening children. I realized that since all of his family still lives in Latvia I have not seen 95% of them. My fear is that he will look at them and go “that looks exactly like my cousin Hilda or Igor”. Then how will I explain my deep belly laughing at their eeriness? Maybe doing that entire thing was just a bad idea. Although a couple of friends showed me pictures of what their children would be like and they looked nothing like their real life children. Big sigh of relief….I think we are in the clear.

Cautiously Anxious for Tomorrow

Everything seems to be going the same as last week. I still have all the same pregnancy symptoms as I did so that gives me slight calmness for the appointment tomorrow. Although, I have recently learned that pregnancy symptoms do not equal live baby since hormone levels take a while to go back down. But since I can’t feel the baby move around it is the only thing I have to hold on to. Maybe I should stop reading anything pregnancy or pregnancy loss related. It might be causing extreme paranoia and maybe even temporarily insanity.
I am excited that Karlis will be coming up for the ultrasound. It seems like it has been forever since I have seen him even though it was last weekend. He just finished his third hockey game in three days. He moved down to a lower league than what he has been in for the last 4 years to be closer to me and finish his second degree in education. He has had a great first few games. He is leading the entire league in points with 4 goals and 7 assists (11 points in 3 games!). He has already had one fan for an opposing team come up to him and tell him he was playing in the wrong league. We think it’s funny.
Just for fun I heard about this website and decided to try it. It is http://www.makemebabies.com/ and you upload pictures of yourself and your husband and it shows you what your future baby will look like. Well let me rephrase myself, I thought it was going to be fun. When I saw them I almost screamed in horror. Brace yourself……..

Red hair? No one in either of our families have red hair. Shouldn’t they have at least one little curl somewhere in their head? Ok so maybe this was a bad idea. But I have had a really good laugh out of it.
I will post tomorrow afternoon with the results of our ultrasound. Again first priority is heart beat(s) and second priority is how many. I don’t really believe in luck so wish us happy blessings!

I LOVE feeling like CRAP

I am being serious here. It means that I am still pregnant and the little one(s) are still growing. When I am asked how I am feeling I try to be honest and say one of two things that seem to be all I feel lately, “I am tired” or “I am nauseous”. Every time I say it though I want to follow it up with but I like it. Well you know not really like it but appreciate it for what it is. I have wanted this feeling for years. I am thankful to feel any pregnancy symptoms.
It will be interesting to see if some of my more physical symptoms disappear after I quit the IM shots. Like my expanding belly. It seems to have enlarged some rather early but I can’t remember exactly how much it already had before I was pregnant due to the progesterone and estrogen I am taking. If we are going on tummy size alone at this point then I just might be pregnant with a small village. Karlis and I feel we are only having one. EVERYONE else in my life says it’s at least twins.
We are nervously awaiting the ultrasound on Monday. At this point we should see a heartbeat so I of course keep thinking what if we don’t. I keep relying on my symptoms and mainly food aversions to keep reminding me that I am pregnant and nothing has changed. Seeing the heartbeat(s) will be another big relief. It will also be nice to finally know how many we have.
Alright, time to go find any flat surface to lay my head upon to take a nap….I feel like a teenager again with my new sleeping habits.

YAY!! What a relief!

Got my last beta results back and it came in at 4,459! My progesterone and estrogen levels were perfect so the current shots will continue. We have an ultrasound on Monday at 11:00 to hopefully see the heartbeat and see how many we got!! When I say that I sometimes feel like we are making a trip to the goldfish store or something as trivial as that. IVF makes things so different but I am so glad that it’s an option since it might just make me a mom!

Another Beta Day

So tomorrow is another big day for us. We get our hopefully last beta done before we move onto ultrasounds. I am still anxious and worried for this test just like the last ones. Oh how I wish there was some little light that glowed out of my belly button that meant I was still pregnant. I pay attention to every little thing my body does hoping to keep feeling some of the little twinges and pulling in my stomach. I keep hanging on to the fact that certain foods make me sick and nothing really sounds all that good. So far I have found great pleasure in cheese but that comes and goes and malt vinegar sounds wonderful most of the time but there are only so many things you can eat that stuff on (ate it on pizza today, not bad at all). I have been the biggest milk fan my entire life. I would drink it 3 times a day. Not anymore, I haven’t drunk any (tried 2 sips and knew that was not what I wanted) since a couple of days before we found out I was pregnant. Sweets still sound terrible which I know has to mean something.
I am tired and sleepy 85% of the time. Sometimes I wonder if that is from me just lying around all day or I am lying around all day because of that. I swear this never ends does it?
I did do something over the weekend that is way unlike me. I went to stay with Karlis in Alabama and when I got there I realized that I had forgotten my toothbrush, mouth guard (I grind my teeth unmercifully), all my make-up and half of my clothes. I don’t know how I managed to remember our 3 fur babies. To leave all of that is an absolute disaster for a woman. Karlis would have been like; you mean I am expected to brush my teeth while I am away from home?
So that is where I am today. I will post our beta results tomorrow when I get them. I am unsure of how big they want the number to be at this point. Hopefully they are good because Karlis will not be here with me. He has his first exhibition game in Alabama tomorrow so this will be the first time I have received any news without him. Hoping and praying for the best!

Little Update

My intentions where to keep posting at least every other day once we got pregnant but I am almost scared to put any of my pregnancy symptoms/stories on paper. Almost like if I mention it and acknowledge its existence it might all go away. Ever since the little one(s) attached I am at the same risk as any other woman for miscarrying. I am monitored more closely/often by my RE doctor than women/couples that can get pregnant on their on. If something goes wrong early they can maybe figure out why and alter the next in-vitro cycle. Also, my RE doctor still has to manage the estrogen and progesterone shots and suppositories until at least the first ultrasound.
I think one of the main changes I have noticed is toward food. For those that know me well, better brace yourself…I can’t even stand the thought of something sweet. My poor husband had to keep a chocolate cake we had in the garage because I could not stand even looking at the icing.
The day we found out I was pregnant was the last night I thought of something sweet. Karlis asked me what I wanted for dinner (he is the chef in our house, I can only halfway fix toast). I knew EXACTLY what I wanted before he even asked. My body would have accepted nothing else at the time. This is an exact quote to him “I want Breyer’s Vanilla Bean Ice Cream.” And my crazy husband said one of the strangest things I have ever heard in response. He said, “Well we don’t have any of that but what we do have is Chicken Egg Rolls.” My jaw hit the floor. What would make anyone think those two things were anywhere close in the flavor spectrum? As I thought briefly of throwing up on his shoes I told him I just wasn’t sure if he totally got the pregnant wife thing yet. He just sat there in silence looking at me because I am sure he was thinking the exact same thing.
Since Karlis did not grow up here in the States he doesn’t know any of the nursery rhymes we all grew up on. Last night he was in the kitchen making something and I was watching TV in the living room. There was a little girl on TV that was singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Karlis halfway started trying to sing with her. You know one of those sort of humming sort of singing. Well when she got ready to say, “little star” my freakin unintentionally hilarious husband said “little toes”. Are you serious? Twinkle Twinkle Little Toes? Our children will be shooting sheep and talking about their twinkling toes in preschool. All the other children will be so confused. I love him.
So that’s a little update from me. Waiting patiently to hear on Tuesday that my Beta number is some massive amount. Then we can maybe move on to an ultrasound. Yay!

IT MORE THAN DOUBLED!!!!

Whew once again. I swear this little one(s) is already causing us so much worry. My beta # is now 486 which was good enough not to go back for blood work until next Tuesday!!! I guess that is good, the only bad thing is that I am sure I will worry again up until that point but on a much less intense level. So I am finally going to enjoy being pregnant for at least another week. YYYAAAYYYY!!!

How Quickly Things Change

My IVF nurse called late yesterday afternoon with not so great news. My beta (hCG) blood level didn’t double, as it should. It was 133 on Wednesday and yesterday it was at 171. She said as long as it went up not to worry (yeah right). She went on to say that sometimes when multiples are transferred two different things could happen. One being that multiple embryos attached early and now one is not going to make it or multiples attached early which was a spike for me at 133 and now things have settled down in my body and they will slowly begin to rise again. My progesterone (618) and estrogen (6985) levels were also extremely inflamed at this particular point. They can fix this with my medicine and shot dosages so this is something they can more readily control.
I go back in on Monday for more blood work. If the numbers increase to a level my RE doctor thinks is desirable I will not have to go back for 10 days. If they still look shaky then I will have to go back again on Wednesday. If they are less than 171 then the pregnancy is not viable, which basically means that this will be the end of what we just started. I feel like we are once again in our 2-week wait. Monday’s results cannot get here soon enough.
So please keep sending us your thoughts and prayers that we don’t lose this pregnancy. I desperately don’t want to go from one of the happiest days in my life to one of the saddest all in a week.

+ + POSITIVE + +

We are in COMPLETE shock. They finally just called and said “Congratulations you are going to be a MOM”. I think I fainted. Karlis was on the phone with his poor mom that had called six times from Latvia. Bless her heart she just kept calling; I know it’s hard for her not to be here. It was a good strong beta # at 133 (they want it to be at least 5) my estrogen was 5,705 and my progesterone was 380. I have no idea what all of those numbers mean at this point but she said everything was “excellent” and not to change any of my shot dosages. I go back on Friday to make sure the beta number has at least doubled and then back again on Monday and maybe Wednesday. I don’t know yet when we will have our first ultrasound to see how many we actually have in there. So we have another exciting day to look forward to!
Thank you all, once again, for your thoughts and prayers. I truly believe it made this possible. Please keep sending them our way. This is positively one of the happiest days of my life. I just can’t believe it.

Tomorrow is Beta Day

We are at the end of this IVF cycle. This day has been etched in our minds for weeks. Tomorrow we will go in for our beta at 9:00. They will call us sometimes after that with the results. I am sure the minutes will slowly tick away but when the call finally comes we will fear answering. I cannot even imagine our reaction if we hear that it is positive; we have been waiting to hear this for over 2 years. We have done everything we can to be successful. If it is not positive it was simply not to be this time, hard to understand and accept but there are really no other options. Life will go on.

If it is negative our disappointment is a given and the next few days will probably be a mixture of extreme sadness and frustration. But we will not think that this can never work for us, not now anyway. We will do this again with our frozen embryos. Unless immediately starting another cycle is something our DR recommends we will wait until sometimes after the first of the year. I think my body might need a little rest. Karlis leaves on Thursday (yes, like the day after tomorrow) to move to Huntsville for his hockey season. I would prefer for him to be here for the DR visits so we will have to eventually figure all of that out. He will be home for good around April. I want to also get through the upcoming holidays without planning everything around DR appointments.

So we shall all soon see. I will post the results. Thank you all for your continuous thoughts, prayers and kind words; please continue them. It has made things much more endurable.

Crazy, Latvian, Hockey Player….also known as My Husband

Since we are 2 days away from knowing the outcome of everything I thought I would lighten things up a bit and laugh so I am going to talk about my hubby…..My husband is great and I wouldn’t trade him for anything. He has an innocence to him that I can never quite figure out. I don’t know if it comes from English being his 3rd language or his appreciation for everything since growing up in a 3rd world country (wow at the 3’s, triplets anyone?). Or maybe it is just him. It’s an almost gentle kindness that I know he cringes at because “for goodness sake woman I am a hockey player” .…..whatever. He keeps me laughing. I have absolutely no idea what is about to spew from his soul.
For starters recently he was a little concerned that our children might not be able to swim one day (the Olympics and Michel Phelps spurred this thought) since his own personal “little swimmers’” would rather just lay around all day. I reassured him that his sperm count, morphology, etc. had nothing to do with the future of our children. I still to this day am not sure he totally believed me.
Another time I was having trouble sleeping. I was complaining to him and he offered me the strangest advice. He said “shoot da sheep” (the “da” is his “the” he has trouble with the TH sound). Somehow in his crazy translation of the English language he confused the counting of sheep with shooting them. Yeah that thought put me RIGHT to sleep, a little bloody sheep massacre, how terribly soothing.
When he met my father for the first time he was a little sick with a cold/stuffy nose. As we sat there eating he told my dad he had trouble “BREEDING” instead of breathing!! Once again the TH was substituted with the letter D. I guess that statement is a little ironic today but imagine the look on my dad’s face. He laughed and laughed.
I think it’s beyond cute that he replaces the letters TH with D. One of my most favorite things he says is the word “other”. He pronounces it just like the word “udder”. It’s awesome.
He also has some difficulty pronouncing the letter V and conveniently substitutes the letter W. I have heard on numerous occasions that he was about to waccum the house or what did I do with a certain wase for flowers.
Oh, another one, he calls the soup Gumbo……..Jumbo.
He calls our floor rugs…..rags
Just within the last few weeks he called and asked if I wanted low gulp orange juice (instead of low pulp).
He constantly calls my Coach Handbags……..couch handbags. Might be a little heavy carrying around a couch, huh?
Also after my egg retrieval the nurse said I might have some spotting and told Karlis that I might need to wear a pad or panty liner. When Karlis told me this he said the nurse wanted me to wear some kind of panties with a line in them, HELLLLOOO?
Bottom-line I could not have done this without him. He has been my sanity. He has kept me calm when I would think it was all over.
How I feel update…not so great. I am tired and nauseous, symptoms number 24 and 386 respectively on the drug side effect list. My hip muscles have become so mad they are hard and swollen. So when Karlis does the injection the medicine oozes back out of my skin which is followed by a good amount of bleeding. Hopefully the pain I have caused my body will be worth it in the end.
Lastly a little joke to lighten the mood….What did the number 0 (zero) say to the number 8 (eight)…………nice belt. Ba Da Dum…..thank you I will be here all week.

Signs, Signs Everywhere Signs

As I sit here on the couch and try and analyze every little cramp, twinge, feeling, I desperately try and make the thoughts disappear from my mind. I know by now some women are already feeling pregnancy symptoms a few days before a pregnancy test. So before you might want to ask me if I feel anything I thought I would share with you the side effects of the medicine I am on. They mimic pregnancy. That’s why IVF women take them. We are trying to trick our bodies into thinking we did this naturally so it does not reject the embryos. I have copied and pasted the possible side effects below.
Also, if I took a home pregnancy test at this point there is a chance it would accurately give us our results. Karlis and I have talked about this and we are not going to do it. We will just wait and hear it from our IV nurse. If we got a positive we wouldn’t believe it and if we got a negative we would convince ourselves that the test was faulty. It’s just not worth the extra mental torment.

Prometrium Capsule (I take 5 a day)
Abdominal cramping, back pain, bloating, breast tenderness or pain, chest pain, constipation, coughing, depression, diarrhea, dizziness, emotional instability, fatigue, headache, hot flashes, irritability, joint pain, muscle pain, nausea, night sweats, swelling of hands and feet, upper respiratory infection, urinary problems, vaginal discharge, vaginal dryness, viral infection, vomiting, worry

Progesterone Vaginal Suppositories (I do, insert, put in, whatever 3 times a day)
abnormal vaginal bleeding
allergic reactions like skin rash, itching or hives, swelling of the face, lips, or tongue
breast tissue changes or discharge
changes in vision
chest pain
confusion
dark urine
general ill feeling or flu-like symptoms
light-colored stools
loss of appetite, nausea
pain, swelling, warmth in the leg
right upper belly pain
problems with balance, talking, walking
severe headaches
shortness of breath
sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg
unusually weak or tired
yellowing of the eyes or skin

Progesterone in Oil (one massive 2.5 cc shot a night)
Bloating; breast tenderness; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; fluid retention; headache; heartburn; irritability; muscle pain; nausea; stomach pain or cramping; tiredness; vomiting

That’s a multitude of symptoms; almost every one imaginable. I can’t believe somewhere in all of those side effects it doesn’t say “if you get an erection lasting more than 4 hours”……..

You will NEVER guess where I have been

Ok, that didn’t take long; I have answered my own question at the end of my last post. We are not normal. Not ever infertile couple has the same experiences and some of ours seems a little out of the ordinary. I think we are life’s guinea pigs.
So have you guessed yet? Just try, think of the most outlandish place an in-vitro patient could go. If you somehow have psychic capabilities and guessed my RE doctor’s HOUSE you got it. Yes, his house and it was not for a yard sale. On Friday night we had a few hours of sheer panic. Since I am taking 3 times more delestrogen than the normal person we were not warned at the 102 session we could possibly run out of the stuff. I know that sounds like common sense but the tiny bottle is completely wrapped in its label and you can’t tell you are empty until well, you are empty. Karlis went into an absolute panic because he realized we might barely have enough for the shot on Saturday night. My specialty pharmacy is in New Jersey and since there are no shipments on Sunday, Monday was the quickest we could get it. I started calling pharmacies in Nashville and no one carried the stuff. So I called the answering service at my DR's office and they connected my DR directly on the line. He was so nice about it and said he would try some places and let me know which pharmacy had it and where to go pick it up. He called back on Saturday afternoon and said he couldn’t find the stuff either. Amazing how you can buy all the drugs to make meth at Wal-Mart but you can’t buy IVF drugs anywhere. So he said he had gone to his office and picked some up for me and would I mind coming to his house. I was mortified. I mean who goes to their DR’s house….for drugs? So my mom and I made the trip into Brentwood (Karlis and my dad had headed downtown for the Vandy-Auburn game, I think now they wish they hadn’t gone). I felt bad for a few different reasons:
1) We ran out and I didn’t want to look like we weren’t competent for IVF
2) It was the weekend therefore his own personal time
3) It was his HOUSE for goodness sake, his own personal turf
So to make up for it I took him a pie. How can a pie not make everything alright, I am from Alabama and it makes things ok there. And it was not just any pie; it was an awesome looking caramel, nutty, apple pie from Loveless. It weighed like 10 pounds. For some reason I didn’t feel so naked and exposed standing on his lovely homes doorstep gripping my pie. His wife was sweet and he was nothing but nice. I apologized for the home visit but they acted like it was nothing. They seemed excited about the pie from Loveless. Yay! So everybody is happy we scored the drugs and they scored a pie. Victory!
As far as how I am feeling…..good I think. I am tired but not sure if it is due to my complete state of inactivity, emotional exhaustion or just tired. Things hurt. My hips are just pitiful. My mom just left which is different because she has not left my side for an entire week (thanks mom!). I have been well taken care of and have not had to lift a finger. Karlis has gone to referee an in-line hockey game but should be back soon.
Three days left before the BIG test. I am excited when I think it might be positive but wish it would never come when I think it might be negative. Guess we shall soon see.

Just Ramblin’

Had our appointment this morning and my RE office looked like they were giving away tickets to the upcoming Christmas show the Nutcracker (Karlis for some hilarious reason said Buttcracker instead the other day)…it was busy! It was so busy I couldn’t even talk to my RE nurse about the spotting unless we wanted to wait the amount of time it could have taken for me to just diagnose myself. Things continued to regress further when the phlebotomist tried to sever my arm (and there is no exaggeration here). She normally is really good, we abuse the same vein multiple times weekly and life goes on. Well not today, when she penetrated my skin something happened and I think my vein may have dodged the needle. And I think this move was intentional. It is fed up, has had enough. Well I somewhat embarrassingly said “ouch” and then she said “uh oh”. Not a good thing to hear by someone who is currently your life line. Then maybe the scariest part is she started whispering sorry, uh sorry, oh geez I am sorry. This would have been ok but the whole time she was looking at me directly in the face which felt like she was waiting to see what my next reaction was going to be. I don’t know what she expected me to do. Cry? Yell? Faint? And then I realized what she was watching. She wanted to make sure I didn’t DIE when she pulled the needle out. Let me say I said more than just “ouch”. Guess when the vein decided to play a little hide and seek she hit my muscle instead. Just a tip DON’T EVER LET SOMEONE DRAW BLOOD FROM A MUSCLE.
Thank the good Lord things progressed after that. On our way out my doctor saw us passing in the hall and actually called us in to see how I was feeling. Really nice when you have 8 billion people in the lobby waiting anxiously for the Buttcracker viewing. He said about 80% of women have bleeding after the egg transfer. It could mean implantation bleeding, an embryo or embryos are dying off or it could mean absolutely nothing. Anyway it has finally stopped since around 1:00 yesterday. YAY!
As far as medications and shots go. On Monday my progesterone was “excellent” at 345 and estrogen “could have been a little higher” at 1138. So they left my progesterone dose the same and increased my estrogen. Today they called and said my progesterone had dropped to 143 and my estrogen has increased to 4456. What the heck? So tonight we got to make my normal 1cc shot a 3cc shot almost full of progesterone in olive oil. I though 1cc of syrup thick hot sauce was painful. Let me tell you, I was WRONG. This new 3cc shot will make you tell all your secrets. Karlis I guess had barely gotten it in and I started asking if he was about done. Bless his heart; I could feel him not wanting to answer me. Then he barely whispered no, not yet but we are almost HALF WAY. The status of my left hip makes things worse. A couple of nights ago Karlis had a little trouble with the aim of the 1.5 inch needle. This came as no surprise to me because I have seen how insufficient his aim can be in other areas. Anyway, the needle accidently went in my muscle at a 35 degree angle. I screamed and Karlis said he felt and/or heard either my skin or muscle rip. It was bad, real bad. I have managed to not bruise much up until this point but this took things to a new level.
I am beginning to wonder if all this stuff happens to every IVF patient or Karlis and I are just being life’s little guinea pigs. Guess I will never know the answer to that one; it is the only life we know. We have a good life, a great life actually; we are just trying to make it a more complete life with a crazy half Latvian half American blond hair blue eyed mischievous little terror running around……aaawwww, what a little angel.

Big Ginormous Thanks!!!!!........
Second Mom Sue for the BarBQ and banana cake with peanut butter icing (yum!)
My homie Sonya for bringing dinner tonight (it was AWESOME)
My Sweet Little Firecracker Donna for the Dirt Cake (Karlis was beyond confused)
My BIFE Madonna for supplying trash gossip magazines, coloring book and crayons and cute balloons
Flowers from the “central office”
Flowers from “my friends”
Thanks for thinking about us, I love you all!!!

THREE DAYS DIRTY

I meant to write yesterday but somehow bed rest is the most exhausting thing ever. It is strange how it should make me feel rested but all I really feel is tired. I feel asleep early last night which is absolutely crazy to me since I am exerting zero energy throughout the day unless you count lifting the remote control. This is what my day consists of; dragging myself out of my bed nest in the morning, standing in our ½ bath in the living room and brushing my teeth, then I put on a bra for all the movement I will be enduring throughout the day (ha!) then dragging myself back to my hole. This routine takes all of 3 minutes and strangely putting on my bra makes me feel like I can face the day (weird I know). By the way Biscuit my baby girl bulldog LOVES bed rest. She is so sweet and lazy. Karlis puts her beside me (very carefully) and she just snuggles in being careful not to touch my tummy. I think she maybe thinks I am doing this for her because she is in heaven. My rough manly men bulldogs Slim and Zamboni are way to rambunctious to lie around beside me gently all day. Must be a girl thing.
My spotting had almost completely stopped this morning and then a little bit ago it has started again worse than before and that makes being hopeful hard. I am not going to pretend things right now are not mentally tough. They are. Being positive is important but being realistic is also important. It is one of the toughest balances I think my family and I have had to try and reach. The cramping and bleeding keeps things more than realistic. But knowing how strong our embryos were keeps me optimistic. I truly go back and forth on what this outcome will be.
Tomorrow we go back to my RE office for blood work. They will check my progesterone and estrogen levels. Hopefully the estrogen has risen, but maybe not because I did not eat celery as directed by my crazy husband. As a bonus I get to shower tomorrow! Yay!

Seven on the Rocks

My doctor’s office called today and AMAZINGLY all 7 remaining eggs made it to blastocyst stage so they were able to freeze all 7!!! We have no idea how they found the 7th that was MIA yesterday but who cares he/she is back! It is awesome to know that if this cycle fails we have enough embryos to try 2 more times. It is also good to know that our embryos are strong and hopefully the 3 in me are just as strong.
I am beyond words happy things are going great and desperately hope everything stays that way. So far we have mastered each step with almost perfection but that does not guarantee a pregnancy in the IVF world. Basically all we did was buy a chance at a successful pregnancy. Things can go textbook perfect the entire time but doctors cannot guarantee implantation; if they could pregnancy outcomes would be 100%. Embryo implantation is a very complex process, which consists of a series of phases in which the embryo has to appose and attach itself to the maternal endometrium and invade into it; not simple stuff. So here is hoping for invasion; I have never wanted something to invade me so badly.
Guess I need to make mention of one last thing. Hopefully it is nothing but if it eventually turns to be serious you will all know something was wrong beforehand. I started spotting this morning and it has continued off and on all day. My RE nurse said spotting was extremely rare but could happen and to call if the bleeding became excessive. It is in no way close to excessive so I am just praying it stops soon. The waiting, guessing, hoping, praying never ends….

Finally, three are back in me

So finally we have entered what would be a 2 week wait but now is a 9 day wait since part of the wait was in the petri dish (I know, this stuff gets more and more confusing). When we got there this morning Karlis and I both went back to sit down with our doctor. We talked a second and all agreed we would transfer 3, so then we had to sign some papers that this was our wish. When we said 3 my doctor somewhat smiled and said “now you won’t hate me if you have 3, will you?” I thought that was somewhat funny and said “Well heck no,” I wanted to tell the man if he could give me 3, I might be his personal servant for life! He said that out of our 10 we had 5 that were “perfect” grade A embryos (strange they use the same grading system as the eggs we eat). We had 4 that were grade B embryos and we have no idea what happened to the 10th. Maybe that is the runaway one that went scampering down my leg and rolled by your feet. They will call us tomorrow and let us know how many they will be able to freeze. They gave us a picture of all of them which is super neat and I asked which ones we would be receiving today. The nurse said my doctor would take the biggest and healthiest. This process is all so amazing but so not normal. I mean who gets to see their little mass of embryo cells when they are only 5 days old? And who would have thought that they look just like the little Quaker brand (oh another sponsor?) mini rice cakes? Oh my goodness, I just remembered when they gave me the picture this morning of our little clan I am sure most women naturally would say ohh and ahh and maybe even cry but I said “wow, they look like rice cakes”. I will be officially known as the woman that would eat her young. How embarrassing.
Bed rest is well bed rest. Mom and Karlis are great. I just lay and lay and lay some more and we are only about 8 hours into this 5 day span. Going to be interesting. Going to the bathroom and just being able to walk is like a little excursion, an adventure, a luxury.
Only part of my body that is not cooperating is my E2 level will not seem to rise. The normal woman receives a 2 part does of Delestrogen IM shot, they had already increased mine to a 4 part dose for the last week and then they called tonight and said it still was not rising so now I will be taking a 6 part dose. This basically transfers to a bigger shot and hopefully my levels will rise. After they called Karlis was pondering over why this is happening. He finally decided that he thinks I should just eat more celery to bring it up. What?!?! How?!?!? Are you serious!?!? First of all I HATE celery and how in the world does celery raise estrogen levels? He is officially insane.

What Goes Up, Must Come Down

I am not talking about those fun money machines people get in on the games shows, I am not talking about a red party balloon, no what I am talking about here is…..brace yourself…. Vaginal Progesterone Suppositories (aka the white rockets). Seriously, who invented those things? One of the first lessons my mom taught me as a child is you stick NOTHING in any body cavity and just LEAVE IT. It just does not work that way. At times during the day I feel like Niagara Falls is south of my waistline. Sorry to any guys that are reading this I know I am grossing you out but a woman can totally sympathize. It is plain and simple gross. It partly becomes an oil like consistency and it eventually sets up like I might be needing it for some tile work at the end of the day. I just don’t understand them, never will.
Other than that things are going well and we are getting ready for tomorrows transfer plus the bed rest. Almost like setting up a camp or nest if you will. I am trying to visualize anything I might need for 5 days and get it within arm's reach which is not an easy thing to do. The small pile will soon be reaching 5ft. (Seriously what’s up with all the 5’s!??!?!) My mom came up for the entire bed rest period (thank you God), always good to have your mom for such things.
Our main hope is that in the morning (surgery begins at 9:30) we have 3 little embryos that are ready and hopefully eager to be transferred into me. We are also hoping to hear that all 10 made it to a desirable size and we have some extra to freeze. I will post how everything goes as soon as we get back and I am able. Pray, pray, pray!

THE TOP TEN

Hang on this is kind of confusing. We started out with 23 eggs from retrieval. We had 16 of our original eggs (23) that were mature (usable). My RE used two different methods to fertilize the 16 eggs. One method was they took 14 eggs and fertilized them using a method called ICSI (pronounced ICK-SEE, which is manually injecting a single sperm into an egg therefore making them fertilize). The other two eggs they basically just unleashed in the petri dish with my dear hubby’s sperm to see if they would fertilize on their own (this is what I like to call the wet and wild group). The ICSI method produced 9 (out of 14) fertilized eggs and the wet and wild group produced 1 (out of 2), Karlis is so proud! So we have a total of 10 eggs that fertilized. YAY! Now, yet another wait begins. More than likely not all of these 10 eggs will make it to the blastocyst stage which is the most desirable stage for transfer. But if they do not make it to the blastocyst stage they can still do a transfer once they reach a certain cell size, so we are praying for cell growth. For those of you that do not already know we have chosen to put the three strongest ones back inside me. Hopefully we will have some extras (beyond the 3 we use) out of the 10 that will be mature enough to freeze for later use (if necessary). Whew, that took forever to get out.
Since we had a large number fertilize we will be doing a 5 day transfer (5 days from the day they retrieved them) back into me and it is scheduled for Monday morning at 8:45; then five days of bed rest. Wow at the 5’s!!! Is that some kind of sign? :)
So today I am just resting up to go into work for a few hours tomorrow. Since I am a permanent fixture on our couch Karlis asked if he needed to load me and the couch onto the trailer and drive the both of us (me and the couch) to work, un-hook the trailer and its contents (ME! and yep my couch) and leave. I could see me riding down the road at 55 mph on a couch, maybe I will take him up on it. Then he asked the next dreaded question….what are you going to wear? PANIC! I have a cute pair of fall motif pajamas that I am eyeing for the occasion. …so sorry co-workers.
In preparation for my body to think it is pregnant we have started a whole new regiment of medications and shots:
Medrol: pills 2 times a day WITH FOOD!
Tetracycline: pills 4 times a day, SERIOUSLY 4 TIMES A DAY WITH FOOD, that is A LOT of eating?!?
Vaginal Progesterone Suppositories: 3 times a day (ICKY!! and what a fun thing to do at work)
IntraMuscular hip shot: progesterone in oil at 7:00pm (this stuff is like syrup liquid heat, probably the worst pain I have felt in my life)
IntraMuscular hip shot: delestrogen at 7:00pm (ditto on this stuff)
So basically all day I am doing one of a few things; eating, taking pills, getting a shot or sticking something in my special place. Envious aren’t ya?
Lastly, the tv channel TLC really needs to re-think how many times a day they show a Baby Story or Bringing Home Baby. It is enough to send infertile women all over the world over the edge. Enough already! How about a new TLC show “An In-Vitro Story: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” or “Bringing Home a New Puppy” anybody can do that. I like it.

conversation last night from the petri dish

My eggs: Wow look at you, you are cute and it is sooo good to finally meet you. How come we haven’t done this sooner?
Hubby’s sperm: I agree you are one hot mama. It has been a long slow journey to get here but I have arrived baby!
My eggs: Well come on over and do your thing.
Hubby’s sperm: Come on, give me a second woman, was kind of hoping for a candlelight dinner first.
My eggs: I have waited years to meet you and you want to eat first. Figures. You don’t have to woo me over or anything I am laying here just waiting for you to devour me.
Hubby’s sperm: I will be there soon I’m not the fastest thing that ever was. Why don’t you come to me?
My eggs: I can’t swim you moron. Are all men like this? You want me to come to you while you just lay there. I swear it is a wonder the population isn’t extinct.
Hubby’s sperm: Alright, I am coming, I am coming. Meet me in the middle?
My eggs: AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Surgery went as well as surgery can go. I don’t remember a thing of it so guess that is good. All day yesterday I felt like I couldn’t stand up straight and was having trouble urinating. Guess they somewhat bruised my bladder when sticking their sword through my organs. We also found out that when the put the little buggers back into me they want to put me to sleep… again! My doctor feels that since I have such bad pelvic pain that it might be hard for me to lie completely still when they are placing them back in my uterus. This kind of stinks because usually Karlis could be in the room and they show you pictures of what is hopefully our soon to be children. Oh well, maybe its best I will not be able to see them, don’t want to get too attached. So just waiting to hear how many were mature and how many fertilized. I will update as soon as I hear.

Holy Eggs Batman

We got 23 . That’s all for now, I feel like I might have been hit by a bus sometimes during the retrieval. Off to sleep thanks to a big fat valium.

Going on an Egg Hunt

Since I have so much pressure and bloating at this point I am scared if I cough, sneeze or laugh too hard I might blow a follicle/egg (who knows what they are at this point) out of my belly button. Please tell me if you see a runaway follie roll by your feet. Karlis is scared they might start scampering down my thighs. He has asked that I sit with my legs shut and if any suspicious activity takes place down there to “stuff something in it and tape it shut”. I love how he called that part of my body an “it”, what a pleasing way with words he has.
I think we are all really excited for tomorrow mixed in with a little anxiety and worry. We have to be there at 9:30 and my surgery should begin at 10:15.
A little about the process (get ready for the slight speaking in tongues):
The retrieval is performed by passing a hollow needle through the wall of the vagina into the ovary (wall?!?!? did that just say wall!?!??). The needle is guided into the ovary with the use of a vaginal ultrasound probe. The needle can be guided into the follicle where the egg resides. The egg itself is not visible with the ultrasound. The fluid is aspirated from the follicle and deposited into a test tube.The fluid aspirate from the test tube is then inspected under the microscope to find the egg. During an average IVF stimulation, a woman will produce some follicles that have grown to a large size and others of medium or small size. Attempt will be made to aspirate all of the follicles - large and small. Although every follicle contains one egg, it is not always possible to remove the egg. Older patients, those with poor ovarian reserve and those with smaller follicles, may see a lower percentage of eggs recovered.
While the woman is having her eggs retrieved, the male will be taken to a private collection room to produce a semen specimen. (figures the woman is being stabbed in her vagina wall by a man she doesn’t even know while her husband is having the time of his life next door) I have instructed my parents to NOT make eye contact with Karlis on the ride in and under no circumstances give him a look that says “we know what you are about to do”. There will be no starring at him or saying “good luck” or “you can do it” because there is no sense in manufacturing any unnecessary pressure. All this can make for somewhat of an awkward moment. I am also hoping we handle the situation maturely when he is done so that means there will be no high fives or chest bumps once the specimen (awesome word) is retrieved (fetch, anyone?). Well on second thought maybe a quick fist pound.
A good egg retrieval may obtain between 10 and 20 eggs. Egg retrieval typically takes 30-45 minutes. Afterwards, the woman is taken to the recovery area while she “wakes up” from the medication. Usually, she can leave around an hour after completing the retrieval. The couple will be told how many eggs were retrieved before leaving the surgery center (yyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyy did not want to have to wait days to hear this number). I will make an attempt to post how many we have as soon as we get back, expect many typos.
So looks like this is it, we are ready. Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. We truly appreciate it more than you could ever know.

All Systems Go

My RE nurse just called with the results of my morning Stim Check #4 and it looks like a stim check #5 will not be necessary. My follicles have stimulated more quickly than planned and are mature. My E2 has reached 4188 (holy crap!). Looks like my body cannot wait for Thursday for the egg retrieval so it is now scheduled for Wednesday (all quick and dirty dates will need to move up one day).
Will we do a trigger shot tonight at precisely 10:15 to trigger ovulation exactly 36 hours later. The RE must receive the follicles exactly at this stage in order to continue on with fertilization. This shot is different from any we have done therefore Karlis, my dad (who is in town to drive me around in my Lortab induced haze) and myself will drive to my second mom Sue’s house tonight for the shot. It is beyond critical to get it right. If we mess it up we could lose all of the twenty-something follicles my body has produced. In a way I am glad the dates have been moved up because my body feels ready. I know I have never been in this situation before but I am experiencing cramps and pressure like I might be or at any moment ovulating, which is scary. I just hope it is not too late and my body does not begin ovulating on its own; I guess at times there are just some things medicine cannot completely control. If my body has or does ovulate on its own before egg retrieval on Wednesday we will have to start ALL OVER. So even though it has messed up some planning I had previously done regarding work I am thankful the egg retrieval will take place sooner than later. Once again another step we are trying to work through to make it up the IVF ladder.

Stim Check #3….shots go from bad to worse

Sorry for the delay in postings, we left hurriedly on Friday afternoon to head to the Auburn and LSU football game (unfortunately didn’t turn out our way). My RE said everything looked good on Friday and my E2 level was at 1225 (this number needs to be some massive amount since I am producing so many follicles, it should at least double every two days, (I think)). My follicles continued to grow and I had some that measured 9, 10, and 11 and some that measured 12, 13, 15 and 16 (they want them to be at least around 18mm) so things still look good. The worst part of the appointment was my doctor is having me take a Lortab one hour before I go because “the you know what and where” ultrasound is painful. I took it and felt a dazed stimulated great for about two hours and then that turned into a sick nauseous state of misery and sleepiness. Seems like the more medicine I take then the more medicine I have to take to counter the effects of the medicine I am taking. Whew!
I am not even going to go into great detail about how the shots are progressing or lake thereof. Friday nights consisted of dropping the completed shot and needle on the not so sterile carpet. Accidently forgetting to prep the shot right before the injection to get the air out therefore after puncturing the needle in the left hip having to start over and give the injection in the right hip. Which all resulted in us wasting a total of three needles. Karlis blamed our disastrous performance on the room being hot….men! Saturday’s shot was out of the ordinary in that we had to give it in the back of our car before going into the Auburn game. You get stares when two grown adults climb into the hatch part of an SUV and lay down. Lord only knows what they thought we were doing but I think we all have a clue what it was. As a bonus right before Karlis was about to pull back and give the shot the Auburn band started marching by. Imagine! A marching band playing your team’s fight song makes for interesting back ground music during such a delicate moment. Goes to show you infertility can strike anywhere at any time, even in the presence of a crowd of 85,214 screaming Auburn Tiger fans.

my husband can’t commit

Ok don’t get ahead of yourself we are talking about shots here. He was hot out of the gates and then somehow did a face-plant.

Two nights ago for some crazy reason he believed his reinstated shot duty responsibility ultimately guaranteed him the right to be my doctor. Yes, my doctor. Karlis had me lay down on the couch then he started rubbing my hip (he said he was "prepping" the injection site which is totally unneeded). Well he started to rub too hard on my battered skin and I started to grumble and he told me in a deep commanding voice "you will need to be quiet miss because I am the doctor". Needless to say I think his responsibilities are going to his head.

The thought of last night’s shot makes me want to throw-up, literally. Karlis likes to pinch a few inch section of my beautifully toned perfect perky tight skin and he really struggles to get any fat at all (ok so it’s a FAR stretch from the truth but it is my story and wow do I sound good!). So he pinched and halfway through his dart like shot motion he hesitated, didn’t fully commit, so the needle went partially in and he had to slightly re-jab the thing. (brief flashback to the thought of me running around the house with a needle hanging out of my derriere) Anyway he let go of my gorgeous Oil of Olay skin (oh maybe another IVF sponsor) and grabbed hold of the entire syringe with both hands to try and steadily inject the liquid fire into my beautiful ageless skin (I am loving this!). Well when he was almost finished with that he for a reason I will NEVER understand in my entire life decided to re-pinch/grip my, you got it, luscious porcelain dew like skin. Let me state this again in a different way, he freakin pinched a 3 inch section of my muscle that already had a 1.5 inch carving knife hanging out of it. Well he might as well of taken a nail gun and shot the thing at 450 mph into me. It STUNG, CRAMPED, BURNED, HURT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT. I think my poor muscle tissue wrapped around all sides of that needle and grabbed on in defenseless mercy……but it’s ok because he didn’t intend to and what husband ever signs up for playing doctor. Yes, he briefly wanted to play one the night before but I think this tiny episode snapped him back to hockey player reality. In-vitro anyone?

I started really thinking about my entire blog and realized I am talking about mainly a few things (minus the scum buckets who are suing us) shots, symptoms, drug induced craziness and………. basically that’s it. Guess that can get rather boring but IVF rather consumes your life. So if the blog is starting to bore you and you are thinking that I might eventually switch things up and throw in a great pot pie recipe or best vacation spot in the world well you might want to stop looking. It ain’t comin’. Not now anyway. Maybe during my bed rest I will dig deep and run out of IVF related things to talk about but I doubt it. I think it’s here to stay until we achieve our baby.

Egg Makin’ Mama….Stim Check #2

We are up to 20! (13 on my left and 7 on my right) We are thrilled that I made the higher end of the spectrum (uugghhh that word sounds like speculum and I don’t like speculums because they GET STUCK) my RE wanted. Now we are just waiting to hear that they are growing and my E2 (Karlis calls this one ET, I love that movie!) continues to rise (it is up to 452). We are hoping that most of them make it to a mature size, they fertilize well after egg retrieval and we have plenty left over to freeze for later use (if necessary).

The expanding ovaries, maturing follicles and bloating from Lupron and Reponex are causing a slight problem…..NOTHING FITS! In addition to that serious ordeal I want NOTHING to touch my stomach and NOTHING to touch my hip injections site. My poor cat that makes biscuits (kneading paws) on my stomach every night is deeply troubled by this predicament. So if you want nothing to touch your stomach and nothing to touch your bum there are only a few options. I am starting to have a little anxiety about having to show up to work in one of these…..

A woman’s fuchsia floral caftan (caftan shout out to Matt on Elk River)…

A stylish mumu (the purse just sets this one off, don’t ya think?)

A toga (oohhhh with a sweet headband)

So if I work with you my apology beforehand. If I see you this weekend at the Auburn game my apology beforehand. Oh a thought, think the mumu comes in orange and blue?

my body is scampering from its state of affairs

Ok so the shots are going well, some hurt like heck and others I can hardly feel. But evidently my hips think otherwise. They don’t really want to move which makes walking a tad bit difficult. I have compromised and am doing somewhat of a shuffle. I know they are mad because they told me and I explained it was not my fault and to blame my ovaries so now those two are no longer speaking. My hips thought maybe I could ask my stomach to take over the injections so I said I would try. Well that was a bad idea because my stomach said it was taking the lupron injections and WOULD NOT be taking any other shots. At the same time my arm started screaming that it was tired of giving blood and for my hips to just shut up and take one for the team. You don’t even want to know what my Va-JJ said (it had something to do with what the doctor could do with his little ultrasound camera). So I had to report the bad news to my hips and now I think they might completely stop working and I will have to drag my butt around on the asphalt all day. Alas, a day in the life of in-vitro.

Tomorrow is Stim Check #2. As with all of the stim checks we are hoping to hear that my follicles are growing and my blood estradiol (E2) levels are rising. I have no reason to think that things are not progressing as they should but with each appointment there is always the anxiety that something has gone terribly wrong and we have to stop. I know this is normal with many areas in life. You work so hard for something that you desperately want and there is always the fear that someone or something will take it away. I feel that in-vitro is so terribly taxing because it spans so many areas of life; emotionally, physically and financially. But we will get through whatever comes our way; no matter what.

Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. - Unknown

Turns out Karlis could be a Junkie and Stim Check #1

I was impressed. Karlis did a really good job drawing up and making his first injection. I was a little concerned at first when we got to the part where he actually has to give the shot and he just sat there, staring at my skin. But then he got up the nerve, gave the shot and then said he was going to throw up (don’t worry he didn’t). I am really proud of him. I hardly felt it and there was no bleeding so success!
We had our first stim check today and that also went really well. I have already produced 16 follicles (my RE wanted between 10 and 20)! I have 9 on the left ovary and 7 on the right. Here is a little about the process for those IVF newbie’s:
What are Egg Follicles?Egg follicles are fluid-filled sacs that are located inside both of a woman’s ovaries. A woman is born with millions of these eggs follicles, each of which contains an immature egg at its center. Each month, thanks to certain hormones, multiple follicles will begin to develop. Usually, only one egg will get released although in rare instances, two or more may mature. During IVF and in order for it to be most effective, more than just one mature egg needs to be retrieved. Your reproductive endocrinologist will attempt to remove all viable follicles that are present in your ovaries, so that multiple eggs can be fertilized. This means that a woman needs to have her follicles artificially stimulated by a follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) which is what I am taking Repronex for. Make sense?
So things are going good, couldn’t ask for any better. Hopefully my body understands what I am forcing it to do and it will just go along with it for around nine more months! :)

What!?!? This?!?!?! Now!??!?!?

My husband has a deposition on Tuesday (and no that is not some code word for something he must perform at the RE office). In the summer of 2006 Karlis had a little bad luck with car accidents. He wrecked both of our cars within two weeks of each other. At the time, I kept kidding him that he was trying to officially live up to his name as “Car-less”. One was not his fault but one was. I will set the scene of the one that was his fault:
Lowes’ Parking Lot
Night time so it was dark out
Drizzling rain
Light Pole bulb blown out making it even further harder to see (come on Lowe’s you specialize in this stuff)
Stop was written on pavement (somewhat halfway and faded)
So he was doing around 5mph leaving Lowe’s with some just purchased blue paint he was using to paint a hockey dressing room when he skidded through the painted stop sign he saw at the last second (which in turn splattered the blue paint which made it look like a smurf threw up in our car). From the other way came a hooptie clunker with two sizeable people coming through and Karlis hit them in the rear tire. Karlis got out to check on them and they said they were fine but then the woman started making phone calls. Then guess what happened! You got it; she was all of a sudden in pain and needed an ambulance. IT WAS A PARKING LOT FENDER BENDER FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! My husband did hit them; yes I will admit that but an ambulance?!??!?! We all know where this one is going. They are suing us for $53,400. Yep, that’s right. She has $11,500 bills for a stiff neck (we all have these almost daily but she managed to have ongoing therapy for it), $7,500 for a totaled car (absolute joke), compensation for 4 days of missed work (makes me want to vomit) and the rest is good ol’ pain and suffering. But during all this pain and suffering she managed to get married to the redneck driving the car (yes I am bitter, extremely bitter). WE will be paying for her hillbilly wedding while we are trying to pay for our babies. It just doesn’t seem right. Our insurance covers us for this amount and hopefully they will settle out of court so we don’t have to go to trial (I am being sued in addition to Karlis since the car was in my name also). A trial is set for September 22nd, three days before our egg retrieval. Our insurance company offered her $16,000 and she wouldn’t touch it. We asked our attorney if he could delay this process since we are in the last few weeks of in-vitro and he said this was the last possible time we could do it. Our lawyers have been postponing it for a while thinking they would eventually settle. I desperately want to countersue for OUR pain and suffering and harassment. I have now also missed 4 days of work to be served three times at our house (they can’t seem to get it right) and visit our lawyer. This could not have come back up at a more inappropriate time. It just seems like too much at once. Plus it is completely insane that these money hungry losers can sue for such an ACCIDENT.
Anyway back to a much lighter topic…in-fertility! (hopefully you sense my extreme sarcasm)

I AM HEADACHE FRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! What a sweet relief!

Third shot is tonight which makes me a little nervous for two reasons:
1. Karlis will be doing his first injection.
2. My right hip is still not speaking to me from the last injection it had so I can’t imagine its response when we abuse it again.
Karlis keeps telling me he has a vision of giving his first injection. It involves me running around the house screaming with a needle stuck half-way out of my rear. We shall see…..

Shot #1….Sex and the City Style

So my husband was gone for shot #1, we are off to a good start. He and my dad made a trip to Little Rock to pick up our new leather sectional; since my husband has visited the “exclusive leather couch room” so often at my RE’s office he has become quite accustomed to the look of leather. Thank goodness my second mom (thank you Sue!) who is a nurse practitioner just happens to live within a 20 minute drive from my house. So my mom, Sue, Sue’s daughter Hannah and I went to dinner and then back to Sue’s home for bum shot #1. It reminded me of Sex and the City; four friends having dinner and enjoying each other’s company (minus the Manolos).
The shot went well. The room was silent as the four of us crowded around Sue and my somewhat exposed back side as I sprawled across the bed. The needle went in smoothly and the really only painful part was the medicine. It took around 20 seconds for all of the medicine to disperse within my scared to death skin. Halfway through my muscle began to fight back and that is when the pain began. There was little bleeding and soreness at the time but today…look out, it is SORE. I figured out the pain is worse when I step with my right leg (shot was in the right hip) so if I can somehow walk without taking a right step things will be great. Tonight we will head back to Sue’s where my husband will be observing and gearing up for his first injection tomorrow night….bring on the left hip!
I think today is the day when I will have to start making some day to day changes since I am officially harvesting little eggies! First of all, I have got to stop my fur babies from lounging and sometimes walking across my stomach. Secondly, I have to stop letting my laptop creep up my tummy as I sit and search eBay for Coach Handbags (I know I am beginning to think I might have a little handbag problem as well). Lastly, I am sure within a few days my belly will enlarge with hopefully many eggs and none of my clothes will fit so I will change my wardrobe to lots of elastic (ugghhh, so not Sex and the City).
So in closing everyone pray pray pray that Karlis has an empty bladder and hits one of the crop circles dead on, all the while missing bones and capillaries. I have faith, he can do it.

Another Day, Another Ailment: My Thighs Hurt….shut up I can’t help it

Yes, I know it is not something you hear every day. It is probably something I shouldn’t even talk about but I don’t care, they hurt. It makes no sense why Lupron (today was my last 10cc shot, hooray!) would attack my thighs but it has. It does make for an interesting “hi, how do you do” conversation. It goes like this:
Unsuspecting Person Says (UPS, hey nice plug and I need an IVF sponsor!): Well, hello
Me: Hi yourself
UPS: How are you doing today?
Me: Well ok but my thighs hurt
UPS: Silence. Dead Silence. Time stops. Eyebrows scrunch together. Pure puzzlement. Then a glimmer of understanding and I can see they are thinking “she’s special, this poor girl is special” (aka rides the short bus and occasionally licks walls). So they say as they dart in the other direction “Well child, bless you and have a good day”
Me: Left standing there rubbing and massaging my thighs that feel like I rode horseback across the desert in search of what used to be my happy and healthy ovaries

Tomorrow is the day we officially move on to the next phase of egg production. I never knew I would be so excited for a 1.5 inch needle to penetrate what is now my smooth innocent bruise-less skin. But I am ready (as I sit here and wring my sweaty palms). There are only a few things to worry about:
1. Drawing up and mixing the injection wrong, which consist of 3 vials of powder, 1 vial of liquid, 2 needles, 1 Q-cap (Karlis calls this one Q-tip) and 1 syringe…Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Oh yeah, this is the drug Repronex or what Karlis for some strange reason thinks is called rubberneck.
2. Injecting the shot, pulling back on the syringe and seeing blood. This only happens if you hit a capillary and since there are roughly millions of those in the body this shouldn’t be a concern. Ha!
3. Hitting a bone…lovely. The hip is the largest ball-and-socket joint in the body (big thanks to my husband’s recent kinesthesiology class) so what’s the chance of hitting a massive bone right at the injection site….we should miss this, right?
On another note, some of you have asked about sharing my blog with others, well heck yeah, share it with your entire address book. The more people sending positive thoughts, prayers and well wishes for a pregnancy the better.
For those of you staying thoroughly confused about the dates and when things take place, join the crowd. To make things somewhat easier I have made a “quick and dirty dates” section to the left of the page. Hope it helps.

They have officially taken control of my body (aka The Mother Ship, literally hopefully)

Great news! We are ready to begin the next phase. My labs looked well, endometrial lining measured 5.1 (they look for 5 or lower so they said I was on target, oh Target I love Target) and my estrogen level was lower than 20 (officially menopause); which is causing the migraines. I also learned that I have a “really strangely placed uterus” bet you are all jealous of that one, aren’t ya ladies? We start the decking nail shots (the drug Repronex for controlled ovarian stimulation) Friday night after 6:00 pm so the endless headache should be gone by Sunday.
The teaching went well, there was a short phase of speaking in tongues but it is becoming familiar to us. We scheduled 5 appointments over the next 9 working days for them to monitor how well I am responding to the drugs (stimming) and to check my endometrial lining. I am now the proud owner of two Sharpie drawn dark black round circles on each of my hips (aka crop circles) so now injection site is one less thing to worry about. We also learned an amazing Sharpie fact; the circles should stay for an entire week before washing off. I think if they have that strong of staying power then maybe they should roll our little embryos around in sharpie ink before putting them back in the mother ship. Hmmm, think that might alter the color of our little ones? Something to think about.
When we were leaving the appointment and waiting on the elevator Karlis and I looked at each other and basically said at the same time “hope you got all that”. He went on to say that he thinks he is relying on me to understand everything and I am relying on him; which is so true. I guess that just shows how much you rely on the ones you love and care about during times like this. I could never do this without him. Oh and today he thinks he might have a migraine too (but after a few minutes passed he asked “can men also have migraines?”). I have no idea how he will come up with a positive pregnancy test.
So today is the day that I can finally use my blogs web address (created in part by my BIFE or best in-vitro friend ever). We are anxiously waiting the beginning of stims and needles…