So when I didn't think I could feel any worse.....

I get a cold. Aaagggghhhhh!!!! So I am tired and sick. This stinks.

We went on Thursday and my doctor said they found nothing abnormal from my D and C. They rechecked for bacteria and we get the results of that tomorrow when we go for my suppression check, ultrasound to see if my lining is thin and blood draw to see if my hormones have bottomed out. I think they have. I'm mean. And have no patience. It's like everything aggravates me. I think I hear people around me whispering "just do what she says". They are all afraid. And they should be. I'm not a pleasant person right now. But if everything is ok we start pumping my body FULL of hormones. I am riding the hormonal roller coaster of life right now.

We also do a medicine review tomorrow. We have to take everything that was delivered which is a massive box. Normally this would not be that bad. It's stressful and confusing but we get through it but tomorrow we get a bonus distraction....Kiyah. Our baby sitter isn't keeping children tomorrow. So I have packed books, movies, colors, her "puter" (play computer) and candy to bribe her. I hope and pray she can give us 20 minutes for the medicine review. Or I might just take the Valium I saw floating in the bottom of the big medicine box......don't tell anyone. I plead hormonal insanity.

I AM Exhausted

I think this about sums things up. I don't remember being this tired last time. I am having hot flashes so I know the drugs are working. They made me bleed to clean out my lining so that has been done. They make me crave certain foods and let me tell you the food sticks. Hormones suck for the diet. If I don't get pregnant it is going to be bad trying to lose weight during the holidays. Wish there was hormones to take the weight back off. You would think there would be if they can convince my body it is five days pregnant with 5-day old but really with three year old frozen embryos. Crazy!!

So shots are ok. Some hurt. Some itch. Some bleed. I am doing these so Karlis is up next. He will begin giving me the hip ones on Monday if everything looks suppressed. I go tomorrow for a follow up to the D and C. He will report if he found anything abnormal. I will also be checked to make sure there is no bacteria in me. I just finished antibiotics for 14 days so hopefully all is well. Then we go back Monday. We will be going often now. Which is good. It means things are going as planned. So we carry on.....exhausted and tired but hopefully worth it in the end.

One Down: 13 TO GO

STOMACH SHOTS....... Started this morning, Lupron at 20 units. Karlis and I draw the shot up together. My biggest fear is getting the dose wrong and messing everything up for the entire cycle and wasting such expensive medicine. I give the shot since it is in the stomach. It hurt worse than I remembered but I might have just hit a sensitive area or maybe it was because when I cleaned the area with alcohol I didn't let it dry first... Ouch. So we have 13 more until we switch over to hip shots. I feel a little more agitated, hot, tired, have a headache.... but is that just normal woman stuff or Lupron stuff?? Who knows. I did a refreshener on Lupron....it is a chemotherapy drug used for advanced prostate cancer. So good news.....no prostrate here so that is safe. For me it will crash my estrogen levels and put me in menopause. My doctor is officially taking control of all my hormones. Bless his heart...what a job.

Do things ever go as planned?

We went for teaching last Friday and the teaching went as planned....they taught, we listened. Then it was time for the "mapping" of my uterus to check that everything looked good for the transfer of the embryos. It went bad, very bad. The pain was unbearable. So we stopped and I got a shot of Demerol in my hip. We went ahead as planned 30 minutes later. It was still horrible but we got it done. When I stood up there was blood. Which was a little weird. I tried to tell my IVF nurse but she was already with the next couple. So we went on home. Where I continued to bleed, bleed and bleed some more. This was on a Friday. So by Monday I was a little nervous. I called and my IVF nurse said that I probably just started my period. I didn't think this was right since I was right at ovulation. I had just had a period 12 days before. She said go ahead and start birth control pills as planned. So I did. The bleeding got worse. For five more days I bled through a super plus tampon in 1-2 hours. I was up all night. Exhausted. I didn't know if it was from the blood loss or from the lack of sleep. So by Friday I thought this is enough. I called and left a message with my IVF nurse. She called back and said "way too much bleeding for way too long of time". She said to immediately come to the office. So we went. My dr. seemed to think the catheter used during the mapping combined with me ovulating, combined with the birth control pills started the bleeding. We decided to do a D and C to stop the bleeding. So into surgery I went. So the last few days have been rough. I am sore and tired, dizzy and confused. The iron I am taking makes me sick. The birth control pills make me nauseous. But good news.. the bleeding has almost completely stopped. I have no idea though when I will bleed again. Will I have a period? Was that sort of a period? My doctor said that all of this will not change any of my invitro dates. That is good news. I want to go ahead and get things going. I feel like I am in a holding period when things kind of stop. So as of now all of my invitro meds get delivered today to the house. I start stomach shots on the 18th. Birth control pills stop on the 19th. I go back on the 27th for a follow up on the D and C. Then the 31st for a complete suppression check. I need an assistant to help with all these dates. Ok....I am exhausted. I need a nap.