Seven on the Rocks

My doctor’s office called today and AMAZINGLY all 7 remaining eggs made it to blastocyst stage so they were able to freeze all 7!!! We have no idea how they found the 7th that was MIA yesterday but who cares he/she is back! It is awesome to know that if this cycle fails we have enough embryos to try 2 more times. It is also good to know that our embryos are strong and hopefully the 3 in me are just as strong.
I am beyond words happy things are going great and desperately hope everything stays that way. So far we have mastered each step with almost perfection but that does not guarantee a pregnancy in the IVF world. Basically all we did was buy a chance at a successful pregnancy. Things can go textbook perfect the entire time but doctors cannot guarantee implantation; if they could pregnancy outcomes would be 100%. Embryo implantation is a very complex process, which consists of a series of phases in which the embryo has to appose and attach itself to the maternal endometrium and invade into it; not simple stuff. So here is hoping for invasion; I have never wanted something to invade me so badly.
Guess I need to make mention of one last thing. Hopefully it is nothing but if it eventually turns to be serious you will all know something was wrong beforehand. I started spotting this morning and it has continued off and on all day. My RE nurse said spotting was extremely rare but could happen and to call if the bleeding became excessive. It is in no way close to excessive so I am just praying it stops soon. The waiting, guessing, hoping, praying never ends….

Finally, three are back in me

So finally we have entered what would be a 2 week wait but now is a 9 day wait since part of the wait was in the petri dish (I know, this stuff gets more and more confusing). When we got there this morning Karlis and I both went back to sit down with our doctor. We talked a second and all agreed we would transfer 3, so then we had to sign some papers that this was our wish. When we said 3 my doctor somewhat smiled and said “now you won’t hate me if you have 3, will you?” I thought that was somewhat funny and said “Well heck no,” I wanted to tell the man if he could give me 3, I might be his personal servant for life! He said that out of our 10 we had 5 that were “perfect” grade A embryos (strange they use the same grading system as the eggs we eat). We had 4 that were grade B embryos and we have no idea what happened to the 10th. Maybe that is the runaway one that went scampering down my leg and rolled by your feet. They will call us tomorrow and let us know how many they will be able to freeze. They gave us a picture of all of them which is super neat and I asked which ones we would be receiving today. The nurse said my doctor would take the biggest and healthiest. This process is all so amazing but so not normal. I mean who gets to see their little mass of embryo cells when they are only 5 days old? And who would have thought that they look just like the little Quaker brand (oh another sponsor?) mini rice cakes? Oh my goodness, I just remembered when they gave me the picture this morning of our little clan I am sure most women naturally would say ohh and ahh and maybe even cry but I said “wow, they look like rice cakes”. I will be officially known as the woman that would eat her young. How embarrassing.
Bed rest is well bed rest. Mom and Karlis are great. I just lay and lay and lay some more and we are only about 8 hours into this 5 day span. Going to be interesting. Going to the bathroom and just being able to walk is like a little excursion, an adventure, a luxury.
Only part of my body that is not cooperating is my E2 level will not seem to rise. The normal woman receives a 2 part does of Delestrogen IM shot, they had already increased mine to a 4 part dose for the last week and then they called tonight and said it still was not rising so now I will be taking a 6 part dose. This basically transfers to a bigger shot and hopefully my levels will rise. After they called Karlis was pondering over why this is happening. He finally decided that he thinks I should just eat more celery to bring it up. What?!?! How?!?!? Are you serious!?!? First of all I HATE celery and how in the world does celery raise estrogen levels? He is officially insane.

What Goes Up, Must Come Down

I am not talking about those fun money machines people get in on the games shows, I am not talking about a red party balloon, no what I am talking about here is…..brace yourself…. Vaginal Progesterone Suppositories (aka the white rockets). Seriously, who invented those things? One of the first lessons my mom taught me as a child is you stick NOTHING in any body cavity and just LEAVE IT. It just does not work that way. At times during the day I feel like Niagara Falls is south of my waistline. Sorry to any guys that are reading this I know I am grossing you out but a woman can totally sympathize. It is plain and simple gross. It partly becomes an oil like consistency and it eventually sets up like I might be needing it for some tile work at the end of the day. I just don’t understand them, never will.
Other than that things are going well and we are getting ready for tomorrows transfer plus the bed rest. Almost like setting up a camp or nest if you will. I am trying to visualize anything I might need for 5 days and get it within arm's reach which is not an easy thing to do. The small pile will soon be reaching 5ft. (Seriously what’s up with all the 5’s!??!?!) My mom came up for the entire bed rest period (thank you God), always good to have your mom for such things.
Our main hope is that in the morning (surgery begins at 9:30) we have 3 little embryos that are ready and hopefully eager to be transferred into me. We are also hoping to hear that all 10 made it to a desirable size and we have some extra to freeze. I will post how everything goes as soon as we get back and I am able. Pray, pray, pray!

THE TOP TEN

Hang on this is kind of confusing. We started out with 23 eggs from retrieval. We had 16 of our original eggs (23) that were mature (usable). My RE used two different methods to fertilize the 16 eggs. One method was they took 14 eggs and fertilized them using a method called ICSI (pronounced ICK-SEE, which is manually injecting a single sperm into an egg therefore making them fertilize). The other two eggs they basically just unleashed in the petri dish with my dear hubby’s sperm to see if they would fertilize on their own (this is what I like to call the wet and wild group). The ICSI method produced 9 (out of 14) fertilized eggs and the wet and wild group produced 1 (out of 2), Karlis is so proud! So we have a total of 10 eggs that fertilized. YAY! Now, yet another wait begins. More than likely not all of these 10 eggs will make it to the blastocyst stage which is the most desirable stage for transfer. But if they do not make it to the blastocyst stage they can still do a transfer once they reach a certain cell size, so we are praying for cell growth. For those of you that do not already know we have chosen to put the three strongest ones back inside me. Hopefully we will have some extras (beyond the 3 we use) out of the 10 that will be mature enough to freeze for later use (if necessary). Whew, that took forever to get out.
Since we had a large number fertilize we will be doing a 5 day transfer (5 days from the day they retrieved them) back into me and it is scheduled for Monday morning at 8:45; then five days of bed rest. Wow at the 5’s!!! Is that some kind of sign? :)
So today I am just resting up to go into work for a few hours tomorrow. Since I am a permanent fixture on our couch Karlis asked if he needed to load me and the couch onto the trailer and drive the both of us (me and the couch) to work, un-hook the trailer and its contents (ME! and yep my couch) and leave. I could see me riding down the road at 55 mph on a couch, maybe I will take him up on it. Then he asked the next dreaded question….what are you going to wear? PANIC! I have a cute pair of fall motif pajamas that I am eyeing for the occasion. …so sorry co-workers.
In preparation for my body to think it is pregnant we have started a whole new regiment of medications and shots:
Medrol: pills 2 times a day WITH FOOD!
Tetracycline: pills 4 times a day, SERIOUSLY 4 TIMES A DAY WITH FOOD, that is A LOT of eating?!?
Vaginal Progesterone Suppositories: 3 times a day (ICKY!! and what a fun thing to do at work)
IntraMuscular hip shot: progesterone in oil at 7:00pm (this stuff is like syrup liquid heat, probably the worst pain I have felt in my life)
IntraMuscular hip shot: delestrogen at 7:00pm (ditto on this stuff)
So basically all day I am doing one of a few things; eating, taking pills, getting a shot or sticking something in my special place. Envious aren’t ya?
Lastly, the tv channel TLC really needs to re-think how many times a day they show a Baby Story or Bringing Home Baby. It is enough to send infertile women all over the world over the edge. Enough already! How about a new TLC show “An In-Vitro Story: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” or “Bringing Home a New Puppy” anybody can do that. I like it.

conversation last night from the petri dish

My eggs: Wow look at you, you are cute and it is sooo good to finally meet you. How come we haven’t done this sooner?
Hubby’s sperm: I agree you are one hot mama. It has been a long slow journey to get here but I have arrived baby!
My eggs: Well come on over and do your thing.
Hubby’s sperm: Come on, give me a second woman, was kind of hoping for a candlelight dinner first.
My eggs: I have waited years to meet you and you want to eat first. Figures. You don’t have to woo me over or anything I am laying here just waiting for you to devour me.
Hubby’s sperm: I will be there soon I’m not the fastest thing that ever was. Why don’t you come to me?
My eggs: I can’t swim you moron. Are all men like this? You want me to come to you while you just lay there. I swear it is a wonder the population isn’t extinct.
Hubby’s sperm: Alright, I am coming, I am coming. Meet me in the middle?
My eggs: AAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Surgery went as well as surgery can go. I don’t remember a thing of it so guess that is good. All day yesterday I felt like I couldn’t stand up straight and was having trouble urinating. Guess they somewhat bruised my bladder when sticking their sword through my organs. We also found out that when the put the little buggers back into me they want to put me to sleep… again! My doctor feels that since I have such bad pelvic pain that it might be hard for me to lie completely still when they are placing them back in my uterus. This kind of stinks because usually Karlis could be in the room and they show you pictures of what is hopefully our soon to be children. Oh well, maybe its best I will not be able to see them, don’t want to get too attached. So just waiting to hear how many were mature and how many fertilized. I will update as soon as I hear.

Holy Eggs Batman

We got 23 . That’s all for now, I feel like I might have been hit by a bus sometimes during the retrieval. Off to sleep thanks to a big fat valium.

Going on an Egg Hunt

Since I have so much pressure and bloating at this point I am scared if I cough, sneeze or laugh too hard I might blow a follicle/egg (who knows what they are at this point) out of my belly button. Please tell me if you see a runaway follie roll by your feet. Karlis is scared they might start scampering down my thighs. He has asked that I sit with my legs shut and if any suspicious activity takes place down there to “stuff something in it and tape it shut”. I love how he called that part of my body an “it”, what a pleasing way with words he has.
I think we are all really excited for tomorrow mixed in with a little anxiety and worry. We have to be there at 9:30 and my surgery should begin at 10:15.
A little about the process (get ready for the slight speaking in tongues):
The retrieval is performed by passing a hollow needle through the wall of the vagina into the ovary (wall?!?!? did that just say wall!?!??). The needle is guided into the ovary with the use of a vaginal ultrasound probe. The needle can be guided into the follicle where the egg resides. The egg itself is not visible with the ultrasound. The fluid is aspirated from the follicle and deposited into a test tube.The fluid aspirate from the test tube is then inspected under the microscope to find the egg. During an average IVF stimulation, a woman will produce some follicles that have grown to a large size and others of medium or small size. Attempt will be made to aspirate all of the follicles - large and small. Although every follicle contains one egg, it is not always possible to remove the egg. Older patients, those with poor ovarian reserve and those with smaller follicles, may see a lower percentage of eggs recovered.
While the woman is having her eggs retrieved, the male will be taken to a private collection room to produce a semen specimen. (figures the woman is being stabbed in her vagina wall by a man she doesn’t even know while her husband is having the time of his life next door) I have instructed my parents to NOT make eye contact with Karlis on the ride in and under no circumstances give him a look that says “we know what you are about to do”. There will be no starring at him or saying “good luck” or “you can do it” because there is no sense in manufacturing any unnecessary pressure. All this can make for somewhat of an awkward moment. I am also hoping we handle the situation maturely when he is done so that means there will be no high fives or chest bumps once the specimen (awesome word) is retrieved (fetch, anyone?). Well on second thought maybe a quick fist pound.
A good egg retrieval may obtain between 10 and 20 eggs. Egg retrieval typically takes 30-45 minutes. Afterwards, the woman is taken to the recovery area while she “wakes up” from the medication. Usually, she can leave around an hour after completing the retrieval. The couple will be told how many eggs were retrieved before leaving the surgery center (yyyyyaaaaaaayyyyyyyy did not want to have to wait days to hear this number). I will make an attempt to post how many we have as soon as we get back, expect many typos.
So looks like this is it, we are ready. Thank you all for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. We truly appreciate it more than you could ever know.

All Systems Go

My RE nurse just called with the results of my morning Stim Check #4 and it looks like a stim check #5 will not be necessary. My follicles have stimulated more quickly than planned and are mature. My E2 has reached 4188 (holy crap!). Looks like my body cannot wait for Thursday for the egg retrieval so it is now scheduled for Wednesday (all quick and dirty dates will need to move up one day).
Will we do a trigger shot tonight at precisely 10:15 to trigger ovulation exactly 36 hours later. The RE must receive the follicles exactly at this stage in order to continue on with fertilization. This shot is different from any we have done therefore Karlis, my dad (who is in town to drive me around in my Lortab induced haze) and myself will drive to my second mom Sue’s house tonight for the shot. It is beyond critical to get it right. If we mess it up we could lose all of the twenty-something follicles my body has produced. In a way I am glad the dates have been moved up because my body feels ready. I know I have never been in this situation before but I am experiencing cramps and pressure like I might be or at any moment ovulating, which is scary. I just hope it is not too late and my body does not begin ovulating on its own; I guess at times there are just some things medicine cannot completely control. If my body has or does ovulate on its own before egg retrieval on Wednesday we will have to start ALL OVER. So even though it has messed up some planning I had previously done regarding work I am thankful the egg retrieval will take place sooner than later. Once again another step we are trying to work through to make it up the IVF ladder.

Stim Check #3….shots go from bad to worse

Sorry for the delay in postings, we left hurriedly on Friday afternoon to head to the Auburn and LSU football game (unfortunately didn’t turn out our way). My RE said everything looked good on Friday and my E2 level was at 1225 (this number needs to be some massive amount since I am producing so many follicles, it should at least double every two days, (I think)). My follicles continued to grow and I had some that measured 9, 10, and 11 and some that measured 12, 13, 15 and 16 (they want them to be at least around 18mm) so things still look good. The worst part of the appointment was my doctor is having me take a Lortab one hour before I go because “the you know what and where” ultrasound is painful. I took it and felt a dazed stimulated great for about two hours and then that turned into a sick nauseous state of misery and sleepiness. Seems like the more medicine I take then the more medicine I have to take to counter the effects of the medicine I am taking. Whew!
I am not even going to go into great detail about how the shots are progressing or lake thereof. Friday nights consisted of dropping the completed shot and needle on the not so sterile carpet. Accidently forgetting to prep the shot right before the injection to get the air out therefore after puncturing the needle in the left hip having to start over and give the injection in the right hip. Which all resulted in us wasting a total of three needles. Karlis blamed our disastrous performance on the room being hot….men! Saturday’s shot was out of the ordinary in that we had to give it in the back of our car before going into the Auburn game. You get stares when two grown adults climb into the hatch part of an SUV and lay down. Lord only knows what they thought we were doing but I think we all have a clue what it was. As a bonus right before Karlis was about to pull back and give the shot the Auburn band started marching by. Imagine! A marching band playing your team’s fight song makes for interesting back ground music during such a delicate moment. Goes to show you infertility can strike anywhere at any time, even in the presence of a crowd of 85,214 screaming Auburn Tiger fans.

my husband can’t commit

Ok don’t get ahead of yourself we are talking about shots here. He was hot out of the gates and then somehow did a face-plant.

Two nights ago for some crazy reason he believed his reinstated shot duty responsibility ultimately guaranteed him the right to be my doctor. Yes, my doctor. Karlis had me lay down on the couch then he started rubbing my hip (he said he was "prepping" the injection site which is totally unneeded). Well he started to rub too hard on my battered skin and I started to grumble and he told me in a deep commanding voice "you will need to be quiet miss because I am the doctor". Needless to say I think his responsibilities are going to his head.

The thought of last night’s shot makes me want to throw-up, literally. Karlis likes to pinch a few inch section of my beautifully toned perfect perky tight skin and he really struggles to get any fat at all (ok so it’s a FAR stretch from the truth but it is my story and wow do I sound good!). So he pinched and halfway through his dart like shot motion he hesitated, didn’t fully commit, so the needle went partially in and he had to slightly re-jab the thing. (brief flashback to the thought of me running around the house with a needle hanging out of my derriere) Anyway he let go of my gorgeous Oil of Olay skin (oh maybe another IVF sponsor) and grabbed hold of the entire syringe with both hands to try and steadily inject the liquid fire into my beautiful ageless skin (I am loving this!). Well when he was almost finished with that he for a reason I will NEVER understand in my entire life decided to re-pinch/grip my, you got it, luscious porcelain dew like skin. Let me state this again in a different way, he freakin pinched a 3 inch section of my muscle that already had a 1.5 inch carving knife hanging out of it. Well he might as well of taken a nail gun and shot the thing at 450 mph into me. It STUNG, CRAMPED, BURNED, HURT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT. I think my poor muscle tissue wrapped around all sides of that needle and grabbed on in defenseless mercy……but it’s ok because he didn’t intend to and what husband ever signs up for playing doctor. Yes, he briefly wanted to play one the night before but I think this tiny episode snapped him back to hockey player reality. In-vitro anyone?

I started really thinking about my entire blog and realized I am talking about mainly a few things (minus the scum buckets who are suing us) shots, symptoms, drug induced craziness and………. basically that’s it. Guess that can get rather boring but IVF rather consumes your life. So if the blog is starting to bore you and you are thinking that I might eventually switch things up and throw in a great pot pie recipe or best vacation spot in the world well you might want to stop looking. It ain’t comin’. Not now anyway. Maybe during my bed rest I will dig deep and run out of IVF related things to talk about but I doubt it. I think it’s here to stay until we achieve our baby.

Egg Makin’ Mama….Stim Check #2

We are up to 20! (13 on my left and 7 on my right) We are thrilled that I made the higher end of the spectrum (uugghhh that word sounds like speculum and I don’t like speculums because they GET STUCK) my RE wanted. Now we are just waiting to hear that they are growing and my E2 (Karlis calls this one ET, I love that movie!) continues to rise (it is up to 452). We are hoping that most of them make it to a mature size, they fertilize well after egg retrieval and we have plenty left over to freeze for later use (if necessary).

The expanding ovaries, maturing follicles and bloating from Lupron and Reponex are causing a slight problem…..NOTHING FITS! In addition to that serious ordeal I want NOTHING to touch my stomach and NOTHING to touch my hip injections site. My poor cat that makes biscuits (kneading paws) on my stomach every night is deeply troubled by this predicament. So if you want nothing to touch your stomach and nothing to touch your bum there are only a few options. I am starting to have a little anxiety about having to show up to work in one of these…..

A woman’s fuchsia floral caftan (caftan shout out to Matt on Elk River)…

A stylish mumu (the purse just sets this one off, don’t ya think?)

A toga (oohhhh with a sweet headband)

So if I work with you my apology beforehand. If I see you this weekend at the Auburn game my apology beforehand. Oh a thought, think the mumu comes in orange and blue?

my body is scampering from its state of affairs

Ok so the shots are going well, some hurt like heck and others I can hardly feel. But evidently my hips think otherwise. They don’t really want to move which makes walking a tad bit difficult. I have compromised and am doing somewhat of a shuffle. I know they are mad because they told me and I explained it was not my fault and to blame my ovaries so now those two are no longer speaking. My hips thought maybe I could ask my stomach to take over the injections so I said I would try. Well that was a bad idea because my stomach said it was taking the lupron injections and WOULD NOT be taking any other shots. At the same time my arm started screaming that it was tired of giving blood and for my hips to just shut up and take one for the team. You don’t even want to know what my Va-JJ said (it had something to do with what the doctor could do with his little ultrasound camera). So I had to report the bad news to my hips and now I think they might completely stop working and I will have to drag my butt around on the asphalt all day. Alas, a day in the life of in-vitro.

Tomorrow is Stim Check #2. As with all of the stim checks we are hoping to hear that my follicles are growing and my blood estradiol (E2) levels are rising. I have no reason to think that things are not progressing as they should but with each appointment there is always the anxiety that something has gone terribly wrong and we have to stop. I know this is normal with many areas in life. You work so hard for something that you desperately want and there is always the fear that someone or something will take it away. I feel that in-vitro is so terribly taxing because it spans so many areas of life; emotionally, physically and financially. But we will get through whatever comes our way; no matter what.

Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength. - Unknown

Turns out Karlis could be a Junkie and Stim Check #1

I was impressed. Karlis did a really good job drawing up and making his first injection. I was a little concerned at first when we got to the part where he actually has to give the shot and he just sat there, staring at my skin. But then he got up the nerve, gave the shot and then said he was going to throw up (don’t worry he didn’t). I am really proud of him. I hardly felt it and there was no bleeding so success!
We had our first stim check today and that also went really well. I have already produced 16 follicles (my RE wanted between 10 and 20)! I have 9 on the left ovary and 7 on the right. Here is a little about the process for those IVF newbie’s:
What are Egg Follicles?Egg follicles are fluid-filled sacs that are located inside both of a woman’s ovaries. A woman is born with millions of these eggs follicles, each of which contains an immature egg at its center. Each month, thanks to certain hormones, multiple follicles will begin to develop. Usually, only one egg will get released although in rare instances, two or more may mature. During IVF and in order for it to be most effective, more than just one mature egg needs to be retrieved. Your reproductive endocrinologist will attempt to remove all viable follicles that are present in your ovaries, so that multiple eggs can be fertilized. This means that a woman needs to have her follicles artificially stimulated by a follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) which is what I am taking Repronex for. Make sense?
So things are going good, couldn’t ask for any better. Hopefully my body understands what I am forcing it to do and it will just go along with it for around nine more months! :)

What!?!? This?!?!?! Now!??!?!?

My husband has a deposition on Tuesday (and no that is not some code word for something he must perform at the RE office). In the summer of 2006 Karlis had a little bad luck with car accidents. He wrecked both of our cars within two weeks of each other. At the time, I kept kidding him that he was trying to officially live up to his name as “Car-less”. One was not his fault but one was. I will set the scene of the one that was his fault:
Lowes’ Parking Lot
Night time so it was dark out
Drizzling rain
Light Pole bulb blown out making it even further harder to see (come on Lowe’s you specialize in this stuff)
Stop was written on pavement (somewhat halfway and faded)
So he was doing around 5mph leaving Lowe’s with some just purchased blue paint he was using to paint a hockey dressing room when he skidded through the painted stop sign he saw at the last second (which in turn splattered the blue paint which made it look like a smurf threw up in our car). From the other way came a hooptie clunker with two sizeable people coming through and Karlis hit them in the rear tire. Karlis got out to check on them and they said they were fine but then the woman started making phone calls. Then guess what happened! You got it; she was all of a sudden in pain and needed an ambulance. IT WAS A PARKING LOT FENDER BENDER FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! My husband did hit them; yes I will admit that but an ambulance?!??!?! We all know where this one is going. They are suing us for $53,400. Yep, that’s right. She has $11,500 bills for a stiff neck (we all have these almost daily but she managed to have ongoing therapy for it), $7,500 for a totaled car (absolute joke), compensation for 4 days of missed work (makes me want to vomit) and the rest is good ol’ pain and suffering. But during all this pain and suffering she managed to get married to the redneck driving the car (yes I am bitter, extremely bitter). WE will be paying for her hillbilly wedding while we are trying to pay for our babies. It just doesn’t seem right. Our insurance covers us for this amount and hopefully they will settle out of court so we don’t have to go to trial (I am being sued in addition to Karlis since the car was in my name also). A trial is set for September 22nd, three days before our egg retrieval. Our insurance company offered her $16,000 and she wouldn’t touch it. We asked our attorney if he could delay this process since we are in the last few weeks of in-vitro and he said this was the last possible time we could do it. Our lawyers have been postponing it for a while thinking they would eventually settle. I desperately want to countersue for OUR pain and suffering and harassment. I have now also missed 4 days of work to be served three times at our house (they can’t seem to get it right) and visit our lawyer. This could not have come back up at a more inappropriate time. It just seems like too much at once. Plus it is completely insane that these money hungry losers can sue for such an ACCIDENT.
Anyway back to a much lighter topic…in-fertility! (hopefully you sense my extreme sarcasm)

I AM HEADACHE FRRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! What a sweet relief!

Third shot is tonight which makes me a little nervous for two reasons:
1. Karlis will be doing his first injection.
2. My right hip is still not speaking to me from the last injection it had so I can’t imagine its response when we abuse it again.
Karlis keeps telling me he has a vision of giving his first injection. It involves me running around the house screaming with a needle stuck half-way out of my rear. We shall see…..

Shot #1….Sex and the City Style

So my husband was gone for shot #1, we are off to a good start. He and my dad made a trip to Little Rock to pick up our new leather sectional; since my husband has visited the “exclusive leather couch room” so often at my RE’s office he has become quite accustomed to the look of leather. Thank goodness my second mom (thank you Sue!) who is a nurse practitioner just happens to live within a 20 minute drive from my house. So my mom, Sue, Sue’s daughter Hannah and I went to dinner and then back to Sue’s home for bum shot #1. It reminded me of Sex and the City; four friends having dinner and enjoying each other’s company (minus the Manolos).
The shot went well. The room was silent as the four of us crowded around Sue and my somewhat exposed back side as I sprawled across the bed. The needle went in smoothly and the really only painful part was the medicine. It took around 20 seconds for all of the medicine to disperse within my scared to death skin. Halfway through my muscle began to fight back and that is when the pain began. There was little bleeding and soreness at the time but today…look out, it is SORE. I figured out the pain is worse when I step with my right leg (shot was in the right hip) so if I can somehow walk without taking a right step things will be great. Tonight we will head back to Sue’s where my husband will be observing and gearing up for his first injection tomorrow night….bring on the left hip!
I think today is the day when I will have to start making some day to day changes since I am officially harvesting little eggies! First of all, I have got to stop my fur babies from lounging and sometimes walking across my stomach. Secondly, I have to stop letting my laptop creep up my tummy as I sit and search eBay for Coach Handbags (I know I am beginning to think I might have a little handbag problem as well). Lastly, I am sure within a few days my belly will enlarge with hopefully many eggs and none of my clothes will fit so I will change my wardrobe to lots of elastic (ugghhh, so not Sex and the City).
So in closing everyone pray pray pray that Karlis has an empty bladder and hits one of the crop circles dead on, all the while missing bones and capillaries. I have faith, he can do it.

Another Day, Another Ailment: My Thighs Hurt….shut up I can’t help it

Yes, I know it is not something you hear every day. It is probably something I shouldn’t even talk about but I don’t care, they hurt. It makes no sense why Lupron (today was my last 10cc shot, hooray!) would attack my thighs but it has. It does make for an interesting “hi, how do you do” conversation. It goes like this:
Unsuspecting Person Says (UPS, hey nice plug and I need an IVF sponsor!): Well, hello
Me: Hi yourself
UPS: How are you doing today?
Me: Well ok but my thighs hurt
UPS: Silence. Dead Silence. Time stops. Eyebrows scrunch together. Pure puzzlement. Then a glimmer of understanding and I can see they are thinking “she’s special, this poor girl is special” (aka rides the short bus and occasionally licks walls). So they say as they dart in the other direction “Well child, bless you and have a good day”
Me: Left standing there rubbing and massaging my thighs that feel like I rode horseback across the desert in search of what used to be my happy and healthy ovaries

Tomorrow is the day we officially move on to the next phase of egg production. I never knew I would be so excited for a 1.5 inch needle to penetrate what is now my smooth innocent bruise-less skin. But I am ready (as I sit here and wring my sweaty palms). There are only a few things to worry about:
1. Drawing up and mixing the injection wrong, which consist of 3 vials of powder, 1 vial of liquid, 2 needles, 1 Q-cap (Karlis calls this one Q-tip) and 1 syringe…Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Oh yeah, this is the drug Repronex or what Karlis for some strange reason thinks is called rubberneck.
2. Injecting the shot, pulling back on the syringe and seeing blood. This only happens if you hit a capillary and since there are roughly millions of those in the body this shouldn’t be a concern. Ha!
3. Hitting a bone…lovely. The hip is the largest ball-and-socket joint in the body (big thanks to my husband’s recent kinesthesiology class) so what’s the chance of hitting a massive bone right at the injection site….we should miss this, right?
On another note, some of you have asked about sharing my blog with others, well heck yeah, share it with your entire address book. The more people sending positive thoughts, prayers and well wishes for a pregnancy the better.
For those of you staying thoroughly confused about the dates and when things take place, join the crowd. To make things somewhat easier I have made a “quick and dirty dates” section to the left of the page. Hope it helps.

They have officially taken control of my body (aka The Mother Ship, literally hopefully)

Great news! We are ready to begin the next phase. My labs looked well, endometrial lining measured 5.1 (they look for 5 or lower so they said I was on target, oh Target I love Target) and my estrogen level was lower than 20 (officially menopause); which is causing the migraines. I also learned that I have a “really strangely placed uterus” bet you are all jealous of that one, aren’t ya ladies? We start the decking nail shots (the drug Repronex for controlled ovarian stimulation) Friday night after 6:00 pm so the endless headache should be gone by Sunday.
The teaching went well, there was a short phase of speaking in tongues but it is becoming familiar to us. We scheduled 5 appointments over the next 9 working days for them to monitor how well I am responding to the drugs (stimming) and to check my endometrial lining. I am now the proud owner of two Sharpie drawn dark black round circles on each of my hips (aka crop circles) so now injection site is one less thing to worry about. We also learned an amazing Sharpie fact; the circles should stay for an entire week before washing off. I think if they have that strong of staying power then maybe they should roll our little embryos around in sharpie ink before putting them back in the mother ship. Hmmm, think that might alter the color of our little ones? Something to think about.
When we were leaving the appointment and waiting on the elevator Karlis and I looked at each other and basically said at the same time “hope you got all that”. He went on to say that he thinks he is relying on me to understand everything and I am relying on him; which is so true. I guess that just shows how much you rely on the ones you love and care about during times like this. I could never do this without him. Oh and today he thinks he might have a migraine too (but after a few minutes passed he asked “can men also have migraines?”). I have no idea how he will come up with a positive pregnancy test.
So today is the day that I can finally use my blogs web address (created in part by my BIFE or best in-vitro friend ever). We are anxiously waiting the beginning of stims and needles…

Headache…..part deux and FINALLY another RE appointment

It just will not end. It runs up the back of my neck into the core of my brain. I get relief when propping it on something (and by “it” I mean my entire head). But how professional can one look at work if they answer calls, talk to co-workers and eat their lunch while their ear is sandwiched to the desk/table? It does not look professional; I know I have tried it. I have seen the “what the heck is wrong with her” stares……Is she ok? Is she listening for some small bit of information the table is trying to communicate to her? Should we see if she needs help? I have decided if someone ever does ask me I think I will just say “Nope just trying to make a baby” and watch the confusion set in.
We go to our next part of the 101 tomorrow morning, guess that makes it a 102, maybe? Karlis is thinking of taking a video camera and tripod to set up for the class. We are hoping the speaking in tongues portion will be kept to a minimum. We have to bag up and take the $4,000 (yes that is 3 zeros after the 4) worth of medication, needles, gauze, etc. that was sent to our doorstep in a 353# brown cardboard box right after the 101. I feel like we need a locked and bound briefcase to carry the stash and a bullet proof, window tinted SUV to transport us. Anyway we are hoping to hear that my ovaries are suppressed, my endometrial lining has thinned and that I have a low blood estrogen level. It is funny how we are now hoping and praying for words that we didn’t even know existed a few months ago. After doing countless hours of research and seeing how many lives are affected by infertility I have come to feel that it is a family I belong to that I didn't want to join, but there is a feeling of fulfillment to be able to speak for such an important cause.
Lastly, thank you all for your kind words. I LOVE that you read and enjoy my blog (yes it is all true and my husband really thinks he has hot flashes). I hope you get my sense of humor and learn some things along the way about infertility. I am no expert but I am learning daily. I know things can potentially get really bad but I am not going there until that faces us (if it ever does). It’s funny whenever I get an email, comment or many hits on our blog site I get so excited my hot flashes start. That is fine though I will gladly suffer through a few sweaty episodes for two things: a baby or hearing how many people are there for and supporting us.

I can see the headlines now “Woman Dies from Headache”

That thought briefly crosses my mind as I sit here feeling my temples pulsate with each beat of my heart. My hair hurts. My pupils hurt. I think I even heard one of my teeth cry out in pain. Today might be the worse day so far headache wise and I have no idea why. Could it be the hot fudge sundae and peanut butter sundae I ate last night for dinner (hey I couldn’t decide), could it be the caramel flavor candy corn I ate for a snack two different times today (I swear it tastes just like my Nana’s pralines AND its fat free, Target baby!!), could it be the partial heath blizzard I ate for yet another snack around lunch (shut up it was partial)….maybe? Or perhaps it is simply the Lupron or what I like to refer to it as "the drug that makes me forget my name". I am having trouble remembering EVERYTHING. I walk around in a sweaty state (I swear I am sweating like a chubby fella chasing a runaway doughnut hole) of confusion because I can’t seem to get my thoughts wrapped around any one thing. Words fail me about every third sentence.
Long Paaauuussssseeee, Shorter Paaauuussssseeee, Wait another longer Paaauuussssseeee …What was I writing about again? Silence……. the crickets chirp.
Oh yeah, the Lupron. It is a powerful drug and I hope it is doing its job. We shall soon see. Now off to bed to rest my, what feels like 55# noggin and to close my excruciatingly tired eyes that actually sting from being open and exposed to air. I never knew air could be so painful.
One last thing, I get to draw up and inject my first shot all alone tomorrow morning (Karlis is in Bama for the night because of class and hockey practice). Yeah, yeah I did ban my husband from the IVF lab but at least he was in the house if I had some horrible problem like spilling the entire bottle of Lupron (I swear if this happens I would desperately lick it off the floor, told you my thoughts were not the most dependable).
IVF ROCKS!

My Husband Has a Confession

I was sitting on the couch waiting to burst into a ball of flames when I somewhat started to whine about the on/off flashing I have been doing all day. I had spoken to Karlis earlier this morning about how I know that he sympathizes for me but I was really unsure if he totally understood the torture my body was going through. Well imagine my surprise when you hear “the confession”. When I stood up and made him feel the sweat rolling down my back he stated “I understand because I also have hot flashes”. Yes, let me repeat that he said “I understand because I also have hot flashes”. Well what do you think of that?!?!?! I have been thinking my husband did not understand these episodes and what do you know, he has them too!! I know all you women out there are thinking how lucky I am because my husband knows firsthand how I feel. Well if my husband has hot flashes maybe yours does too. You should ask them. I dare you. After investigating these episodes a little further he went on to explain he gets his hot flashes when he is nervous. Which I assume is a reaction to a little panic attack but who am I to judge? If my husband is capable of hot flashes, I have an idea. If our first round of IVF does not work (Lord please please please let it!) then my husband is next in line for round #2!

Ding Ding Ding….call #1 to the RE office

The spotting changed to bleeding today so I decided it was officially time to call the RE’s (reproductive endocrinologist) office. I hated to call but since we are paying them the equivalent of a few lifetimes supply of Coach Purses (I LOVE HANDBAGS!) I figured it was ok. So I called, left a message and waited for the call back. During this wait I started feeling absolutely horrible. My head hurt, my lower back hurt, my stomach was bloated but strangely kept growling, my legs ached, I was having hot flashes followed by cold sweats and pressure in the “down there” region like I had never felt before. My IVF nurse called back and stated causally and obviously….”it’s your menses, don’t you remember we covered that last time you where here?” NO I DON’T REMEMBER BECAUSE PART OF THE 101 UNEXPECTEDLY SWITCHED OVER TO TONGUES!!! Plus, that was the day a speculum was wrongly hanging out of my Va-JJ for a lengthy amount of time. Anyway since it’s my menses (who actually uses this word, it’s my period……period) no need for alarm. But it is a period that is shedding my endometrial lining so it’s especially uncomfortable, guess that explains the pressure that I am feeling. So looks like we are one step closer to Operation Baby.

My Dear Hubby is temporarily banned from his IVF duties (drawing up shots)

I started the day once again waking my husband from sleep like he had just pulled an all- nighter. He got up and stumbled down the steps and proceeded to our official IVF lab (aka dining room table). I followed, lifted up my shirt, and swabbed the skin that didn’t yet know it was going to be raped by a sharp dagger that facilitates a psycho drug. As I waited I realized my husband was completely abusing the needle/syringe. He kept poking it in and out of the medicine stopper, out then in, in then out, once he got that situated no matter what he did he could not get the stopper to pull back and stop at 10cc. Then I noticed what the problem was…..he was doing the universal pee pee dance. Switching back and forth from foot to foot, fidgeting, twisting, etc. He FINALLY got 10cc out and proudly displayed the shot, passing if off to me quickly and then sprinting around the corner to the bathroom. It seems all the abuse gave me a needle that was pointing to 2 o’clock instead of noon. It was then and there that I decided I would be doing the injections for the time being. Its funny my husband has not mentioned one time about his duties being pulled. I am sure he thinks I am just doing him a favor, little does he know I am frightened by his nursing skills. On the bright side of things I now officially know my husband was NEVER a junkie.

Lupron is beginning to make me mad (+ mean)

SOOO glad to have Labor Day off today because the side effects have begun. My head is in a constant state of dull achiness plus I am beginning to spot some. Plus, I CAN’T sleep! Plus, Plus I have HOT FLASHES!! I am beginning to wonder exactly what cruel things my body is going through. It feels like it is yelling back at me “Stop it, dang it, just stop”. It obviously does not like being forced into a menopausal state. The lurpon is also making me a little aggressive, agitated, ticked off and I really don’t care what I say to whom. Not so good. Last night as I was lying in bed at midnight staring at the ceiling I realized I was envisioning a banquet size long white table full of knives. Definitely not a normal thought, now if I had said I was “envisioning numerous Coach Purses” we would be onto something. In saying all this, I have decided to just not go through menopause. It is no fun; so why do it.