This time tomorrow I will have 3 or 4 embryos in me. Crazy to think that I will technically be pregnant with that many children. On the flip side it is scary to think that none of them might stick around....literally.
My body is convinced it is pregnant. I crave sausage and biscuits in the morning. I ate tomato bisque soup which I hate except when I am pregnant. I am also craving malt vinegar which I could have drunk when I was pregnant last time. I am SO GLAD I am already craving all of these things. I would have been certain I was pregnant if I had started doing that next week.
On the home front it is quiet. Sadly quiet. Kiyah is staying with my dad in Alabama this week. I just couldn't figure out how bedrest would work with her here. She would want to be with me and I would be depressed hearing her ask for me all the time. It would tempt me to get up which is stupid after all this time and money....and our babies life at risk. So she is there until Friday or Saturday. I hate it. I really do. I feel like I am clinging to her right now. I guess it brings back all kinds of memories of when we were unsure if we would ever get a child. I cannot imagine a life without her. She makes me laugh every day. All the moms out there know. Your children are your life. They hurt, you hurt. They laugh, you laugh. They cry, you cry. They are happy, you are happy. So this will be the quietest week I have had since Kiyah was born. I will probably be counting the ceiling tiles by Tuesday morning. Speaking of bed rest....
To lay upstairs in the bed or lay downstairs in the recliner....that is the question. Karlis says upstairs. I say downstairs. To lie on my back for four days will hurt. The recliner will just be easier. Plus I won't have the option of rolling to my side. In the bed I will. But the thing about being downstairs is that Karlis will be responsible for bringing my clothes down each morning......do I really want to rely on that? And nothing fits. Finding something is a chore. Invitro wrecks your body.....or it does mine. I am beginning to look like a tight end.....without a tight end.
So one of my good friends has taken the liberty of naming the babies. I think it is perfect. Eeny, Meeny, Miney and Mo are now the 4 embryos. I said knowing my luck the one named "Mo" would stick......Mo Zirnis. Although, I do have another good friend we call Mo and it seems to fit. Maybe a little "Mo" wouldn't be so bad after all.
I will post tomorrow night (if I can see straight) how many we were able to put in. I hope they will be able to tell my the quaility of them also. Or this just might be something that will drive me nuts until the pregnancy test. I will think on that one.
Pray for my embryo babies to be strong tomorrow and to stay away from the light. They have been frozen for three years. They might be confused. They might have enjoyed their low rent nitrogen filled tank. They might not be looking for another home. Pray they will like their move into their rent free uterus. If they only knew how bad they were wanted.....well maybe they do.
Lastly, another one of my friends and I were talking about how many would make it and how many wouldn't. She said something that calmed me some. She said "you will get exactly as many as you are supposed to get".......so true.
Till tomorrow.......
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